How Darwin Can Save Your Marriage
We are designed by evolution to be titillated by erotic novelty, males and females. Given that evolutionary design, it's completely predictable that 10 years of the same thing, whether it's the same music or the same food or the same sex partner, is going to lead to resentment, discomfort, whatever. It'92s going to lead to a diminishment of passion, certainly. So we start with that and then we add to that the notion that we're taught that that shouldn't happen, that if it does happen there's something wrong with you or something wrong with your relationship.'a0.
And so people aren't expecting that to happen, and so they interpret that diminishment of passion as a failure. The point that we're trying to get across in the book is that it's not your fault. It's not your partner's fault. It's the fault of the clash between the sort of animal we are and the sort of society we've designed. And as long as there's that conflict between our biology and our societies, there are going to be these problems. So a harm reduction approach might make a lot more sense than this sort of absolutist approach that a lot of people take where any.
Infidelity, any, you know, my husband looks at porn, that means he doesn't love me anymore. I mean, these sorts of responses to very natural behaviors cause a lot more problems than they solve, I think. I think if marriage is going to survive as an institution, it's going to certainly have to continue adapting to the realities of human nature as opposed to trying to shoehorn human nature into some predetermined shape. The point of marriage is that you want to get old with someone. You want to share your life with someone. Maybe you want to raise children with someone. You want.
To have a certain stability and trust that you couldn't possibly get with shortterm relationships. That's the point of marriage. And by imposing this expectation of sexual exclusivity for 40, 50, 60 years, we're cutting ourselves off from those really important things for something that's essentially trivial. Sex really isn't really that important. It's not that big a deal. And by making it such a big deal, we sabotage things that really are important, these primary relationships.'a0 We have children going through divorces, victimized by the psychological trauma of divorce, over what.
Over what That mommy or daddy had sex with someone else Who cares The problem is, much like the war on drugs, the problem is that we take this absolutist approach to something that people are always going to do. People are always going to smoke marijuana. People are always going to drink alcohol and coffee and whatever. But we make these arbitrary judgments on what's acceptable and what isn'92t, that have nothing to do with the actual harm that anything of these things could cause to people. So we throw people in prison for, you know, growing a marijuana plant on their windowsill.
It makes no sense it causes much more harm than just letting people do what they want to do. And really, whose business is it if a couple decides that they're going to, you know, allow a little casual sexual behavior on the side, especially if, as Dan Savage argues, and I agree, it takes the pressure off the relationship. If the door's open a little bit, you don't feel trapped. It doesn't mean the door has to be swung wide open, but, you know, the fact that it's open a little bit doesn't mean that the.
Marriage Counseling How to Get Your MotherInLaw to Shut the Hell Up
Hi, I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources. We're going to be talking about communication skills today. Specifically, how do we get our motherinlaw to shut the hell up Dangerous ground. Just how do we get our motherinlaw to shut the hell up Now, the question. Well, duck tape works, duck tape works for everything. As a matter of fact, my father used to put it on the rust spots on his car. But anyway, the first thing that needs to happen, is, is have a dialog with your motherinlaw. Just really understand what is causing her.
Behavior Why is she continuing to communicate at you, perhaps badger you and come at you Because, realistically, the, the issue or the fault actually may be with you. The reason that she is continuing to badger you. Is it a fault of yours, are you not taking the garbage out Are you leaving your clothes all over the place Are you, somebody who's irresponsible So, you really need to take a look at, at your behaviors, and find out if it's your behaviors that's causing your motherinlaw to have these issues, or these patterns. And.
Then, correct that, and then that way you can just eliminate that. They say that you can pick your friends, but not your family, and that's true. In a situation like this, it really may require you to sit down and compromise with your motherinlaw. It may be better for you, your family situation, and the situation with your wife. Ultimately, one or, one or you is going to have to, to compromise and give up. So, the dialog needs to take place first, communication has to take place, and understanding needs to take.
HOW To SAVE Your Marriage EVEN If Your Spouse Is Unwilling HOW To Save Your Marriage ALONE
Find Out How To Save Your Marriage Even If Your Spouse Is Unwilling howtosaveyourmarriagenowSaveYourMarriageNow the link above to watch a short presentation to discover the 3 shocking reasons why your spouse is pulling away and how to save your marriage now, even if you're the only one who wants to fix things. If you've ever felt abandoned, rejected or confused by your spouse's behavior, or feel like your marriage needs a turnaround, then you NEED to watch this tutorial right now. Make sure you watch the tutorial presentation all the way to the end to fully grasp the.
Concepts of how to save your marriage, with the last tip being particularly important. We recommend you take notes and implement the concepts immediately and consistently to get the best results. If you follow the instructions, you can indeed save your marriage even if your partner is reluctant. Check out these testimonials from some of the happy people who have already saved their marriages. Since taking your advice, my marriage has had a turnaround. Initially I was the only one interested in salvaging our marriage, but after changing my mindset and approach,.
My wife started to change too. she's now open to doing what she can to keep the marriage and make it great. We're now heading in the right direction in our marriage we're becoming better people as we grow. Michael G. I was skeptical at first about buying an online digital product to help save my marriage, but after listening to the program and applying the priceless insights you teach, my husband started treating me differently. The joy passion in our marriage has returned, and it feels fresh again..
Many thanks, Donna P. Our marriage was headed to divorce, it's been 3 years since we last had a 'date night'. We had real communication issues and never seemed to meet each others needs. We listened to the message together read the manual from Save Your Marriage Now. and found many of the things we did were counterproductive. We realized our mistakes, and it took a few months but now our communication is truthful, open and effective. It's so liberating and we feel that we know and love each other deeply.
Again. Instead of divorce, we're now looking at a renewing of vows. Thanks you for all the insights and wisdom! Peter and Jennifer F. For more information on how to save your marriage you can visit our website here too howtosaveyourmarriagenow Recommended tutorials youtu.beabtclqOC7Xo youtu.beBGnMdkW9g4 youtu.bePgNYjgIoMdw Popular search terms how to save your marriage or relationship how to save your marriage when a divorce seems imminent how to save your marriage after infidelity how to save your marriage after an affair how to save your marriage alone how to save your marriage when your husband wants a divorce.
How Movies Can Make a Marriage Better
Man Then why did you marry me Woman I m beginning to wonder Ronald Rogge The early years of marriage are a risky time for couples. We know that about half of couples in the United States divorce, but a lot of those divorces occur in the first four or five years. And so we wanted to try and find ways to help strengthen those marriages, and hopefully prevent some of those divorces. Man Here's to a good marriage. Rogge So in this study, we had two groups of couples that we gave actual workshops, we brought them in,.
We taught them skills on how to communicate. And compared to a group that didn't get any treatment, we found that after three years they had far lower divorce. Woman Just trying to discover where the strings are attached Rogge But we wanted to see, if we did a very minimal intervention, having these couples watch movies and talk about it, would lead to benefits Man What kind of people would just sit like that without a word to say to each other Woman Married people. Rogge The amazing thing is that with just watching five movies together,.
And talking for a halfhour, 45 minutes at the end, we got benefits over three years, we cut the divorce rate in half. Man Do you ever think of marrying just for fun Woman Marriage, fun Fiddledeedee Rogge We wanted to give the couples in the movie condition some choice about what movies they were going to watch together, Woman If I push too hard it s because I want things to be better Rogge There are lots of romantic comedies out there about a man and a woman falling in love, but it doesn't really show them having fights.
As a couple, or giving support to each other after a long stressful day, because they don't end up together until the last frame of the movie. So it needed to be a movie that showed a longterm relationship so it would make sense to talk about, well how did the couple on screen provide support, and how are we doing that How did the couple on screen fight, and how are we doing that Man Well that s not the point. Woman It certainly is Man Not Little girl Bicker, bicker, bicker. Rogge People watch movies all the time,.
And yet they still get divorced. We actually don't think that it's the movies that's the magic here, I mean don't get me wrong, movies are pretty magic, but to strengthen your relationship, we actually think that it's the time that the couples took to spend together and focus on their relationship that mattered. Man You make me want to be a better man Rogge And taking a moment out of their busy life to think about, how am I acting to my partner, this person that I love the most in the world, and is that the way I really want to be acting.
Man and woman arguing Man Could I please get a word in edgewise Woman Go ahead. Rogge What really excites me about this is that it gives us a way that we can reach out and help couples on a wide scale, without needing thousands of therapists trained to work with each of the couples. We can offer couples a way of strengthening their relationships they can do completely on their own, and it's not like they re just, they have to do it with five movies and stop, they could make it a yearly thing they do around their anniversary, watch.
Key Peele Office Homophobe
Rhythmic bass beat, sensual moans LATRELL WHAT'S UP, BABY GIRL CAN YOU PLEASE TURN THAT OFF WHY, YOU DON'T LIKE MY MUSIC IS IT MUSIC BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE A BUNCH OF SEX NOISES OVER A BASS LINE. OH. I GET IT. YOU DON'T LIKE MY MUSIC 'CAUSE I'M GAY. YOU CAN'T HANDLE A GAY MAN'S MUSIC. NO, NO, NO. IT'SI'M TRYING TO WORK HERE, AND THAT MUSIC IS WEIRDLY SEXUAL. OH, I SEE. SO MY SEXUALITY IS WEIRD. YOU JUST CAN'T FATHOM A MAN BEING ATTRACTED.
TO ANOTHER MAN. I CAN FATHOM IT. IT'S CAN YOU JUST PLEASE LISTEN TO SOME OTHER GAY MUSIC, LIKE BARBRA STREISAND OR SOMETHING OH, I SEE, I SEE. OKAY. SO LISTENING TO BARBRA STREISAND IS GAY. STEREOTYPE MUCH keys clacking SO YOU SEEING ANYBODY LATELY YEAH, II MEAN, KIND OF. I THINK 'CAUSE I GOT IT GOOD LAST NIGHT. OH, IT WAS LIKE, DAMN! I MEAN, MY MAN WAS LIKE, BLOP! LIKE, HE HAD A BABY ARM HOLDING ON TO A APPLE. AW, DON'T CALL IT A BABY ARM.
AW. I SEE. SO YOU CAN'T HANDLE HEARING ABOUT HOW I'M GAY. I'M SORRY. YOU JUST REFERRED TO YOUR BOYFRIEND'S PENIS AS A BABY'S ARM HOLDING AN APPLE. WELL, THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKED LIKE. AND IT'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND, BY THE WAY. AND ANYWHATS, YOU'RE HOMOPHOBIC. NO, NO, NO. THAT'S NOT HOMOPHOBIC, OKAY YOU'RE EXPLICITLY TALKING ABOUT SEXUAL THINGS IN THE WORKPLACE. FINE. THERE'S PLENTY OF STUFF THAT WE CAN TALK ABOUT. YOU KNOW, UH, MY PENIS CUP, MY SCROTUM COZIES THAT I HAVE BEEN KNITTING RECENTLY.
OH, WITH THESE KNITTING NEEDLES THAT I HAVE JUST NOTICED LOOK LIKE LITTLE, SKINNY, PURPLE PENISES, ET CETERA AND ET CETERA. OH, MY GOD. CAN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE, AND THEN YOU TELL ME IF IT'S GOOD FOR FACEBOOK OKAY, I'M FAIRLY CERTAIN YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW ME SOMETHING OVERTLY SEXUAL. DON'T YOU PREJUDGE ME! HERE IT IS. AGH! bleep! THAT'S A CLOSEUP OF AN ANUS. OH, NO, THAT'S NOTltigt ANltigt ANUS. THAT'S MY ANUS, BABY GIRL. THAT'S DISGUSTING. OH, I SEE.
SO YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE A CLOSEUP PICTURE OF MY ANUS 'CAUSE YOU HATE GUY MEN. NO. I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT A CLOSEUP PICTURE OF ANYONE'S ANUS. HOMOPHOBE. HOMOPHOBE. THERE'S A HOMOPHOBE RIGHT HERE. HO blows whistle HOMOPHOBE ALERT! highpitched voice HOMOPHOBE! imitating siren wailing HEY. HEY, BABY. HOW'S IT GOING GOOD. READY TO GO TO LUNCH YEAH. UH, LATRELL, THIS IS GAVIN. GAVIN, THIS IS LATRELL. THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND. HOW YOU DOING I'MI'M I'M DOING VERY WELL. HOWHOW ARE YOU DOING, GAVINGAVIN.
How Marriage Could Curb Risky Drinking
I'm Gabe Garza with today's health news. While maturing out of drinking sometimes known as the marriage effect is a common phenomenon that results in a decrease in alcohol consumption, researchers from the University of Missouri found that its effects could be especially strong for those who drink to excess. According to researchers these drinkers may be benefiting from what is known as the roleincompatibility theory,. This theory suggests that when a person's behavior conflicts with the demands of a new role, such as that of a husband or.
Marriage Counseling How to Compromise in Marriages
Hello, my name is Reka Morvay and I'm going to talk to you about how to compromise in marriages. Compromising in marriages is a very powerful tool for problem solving. Now you are in a team, you are a couple, you are facing life situations together. And there will be many, many situations where you need to come up with a compromise that is suitable for both of you. This is the trick. You need to find a situation that is a win win solution for both of you because the only way you can have a loving and respectful relationship.
Counseling Laguna Hills 714 '01652 Four Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble
Hi. Robyn D'Angelo here, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Relationship Specialist. Today I'm talking to you about four signs that your marriage could be in trouble. So, research shows that people in longterm, committed, unhappy relationships actually have lower selfesteem. They struggle with things like depression and anxiety. And they even have a higher chance of illness. So this really speaks to the severity of being in an unhappy relationship and how it can negatively impact, so not only, you know, mentally and emotionally, but also physically. So, there are four basic behaviors that are considered relationship.
Killers. And the first one is criticism. So, what this looks like is when you blame or put fault on your partner in a way that you're putting negative remarks out there of them. So that's like, You're just so lazy. Or, You never listen to me. Things like that. What happens when you consistently do this over time is you chip away at that love and that trust in your relationship. So, that's the first sign. The second sign is defensiveness. Defensiveness is basically when you're not taking any responsibility for your behaviors.
Or it's when you verbally attack or get kind of verbally aggressive with your partner in a response to any feedback from them. And what happens is this just melts away the connection between you and your partner. And, the third thing is contempt. So, when you have a contemptuous attitude toward your partner, you are kind of doing what we call like kind of zingers or kind of sticks with really negative comments to them. And that looks like namecalling. It can even look like kind of scoffing at them or mocking them. Because when you are contemptuous,.
You're basically saying, I'm superior to you and you're defective. That's the message that you're sending to your partner. So you can see how this can really negatively impact a relationship. And the fourth sign is something called stonewalling. And so this is when you purposely withdraw from a conversation, whether you're in conflict or it's just uncomfortable, with the intent to stop all communication. And this can look like, say you're on the phone with your partner in a heated conversation and they hang up on you or you hang up on.
Them. Or, it can look like you're having a conversation with your partner and it's one of those Fine, whatever, forget it. That's stonewalling. That's cutting off the communication. It can be really, really negatively impactful on your relationship. So, these four signsthese are actually what Drs. Julie and John Gottman call the four horsemen of the apocalypse. And they sound just awful and that's because they are. So, if you're seeing some of these come up in your relationship and you'd like more help on how to eliminate these, give.
How Darwin Can Save Your Marriage
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