Ellen and Anna Faris Prank Chris Pratt

SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO, AND Y'ALL TRY TO STAY QUIET SO THAT IT REALLY SOUNDS LIKE SHE'S CALLING FROM A POLICE STATION OR FROM WHEREVER. SO WE'RE GONNA TRY TO CALL HIM. WE'LL SEE IF HE'S REHEARSING. HE MAY BE AT SNL. HE MAY BE AT THE DEREK JETER LAST BASEBALL GAME, WHICH HE WILL NOT HEAR ANY OF THIS IF HE'S AT THE BASEBALL GAME. WHICHHOPEFULLY, HE'LL JUST HEAR ARRESTED, AND THEN HE'LL SO WE'LL LEAVE A MESSAGE IF IT GOES TO VOICE MAIL, JUST SO HE GETS VOICE MAIL THAT YOU'REBEEN ARRESTED.

OKAY. BUT I THINK I'M GONNA BE IN MY CAR GETTING ARRESTED. I THINK THAT'S OH, YOU'RE IN THE CAR. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN OKAY. I'LL BE PLAYING THE PART OF THE COP. snickering OKAY. I DON'T NEED TO PUT IT ON SPEAKER, RIGHT NO, IT'S phone jingling OH, SOMEONE IS CALLING ME AT THE SAME TIME. laughter ANSWER IT. SEE WHO IT IS. NO WAY. THAT'S TOO SCARY. ANSWER IT. IT'S A NUMBER I DON'T KNOW. OH, MY GOD.

HELLO HI. IS THIS ANNA FARIS NO. WHO'S THIS OH, MY NAME'S HALEY WRIGHT, CALLING ON BEHALF OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA PUBLIC RADIO. IS ANNA AVAILABLE NO, SHE'S NOT. SHE'S GONNA CALL YOU BACK, OKAY OKAY, I CAN AC ALL RIGHT. laughter I SUPPORT MY PUBLIC RADIO STATION. WE CAN'T INTERRUPT THIS BIT. THAT IS REALLY FUNNY. WHY IS A PUBLIC RADIO STATION CALLING YOU WHY DO THEY HAVE YOUR NUMBER I DON'T KNOW. I'M GLAD YOU ANSWERED THOUGH. phone line trilling.

whispering indistinctly sighs both whispering indistinctly line continues trilling UHOH. HE LIKES DEREK MORE THAN ME. giggles OKAY, THAT'S whispering COULD DO IT LIKE HE'S COMING OUT TO, LIKE whispering OH, YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. YOU HAVE REACHED THE VOICE MAILBOX OF 31. voice fades OH. laughter THAT WOULD BE IT'LL COME BACK UP. phone beeps HEY, HONEY. UM, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AT THE GAME RIGHT NOW. IF YOU ARE, I HOPE DEREK'S DOING REALLY WELL. BUT I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT, UM, I'M.

I THINK I'M GETTING ARRESTED. MA'AM, LET'S GO. UM, I KNOW OUT OF THE CAR. stammering frantically NO, JUST GIVE ME TWO SECONDS. NO, I'M COMING. I'M COMING. I'M COMING. PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON AND GET OUT BABY, I WAS I JUST WAS ON MY WAY, YOU KNOW PUT YOUR PANTS ON AND GET OUT OF THE CAR. I HAD TO DO THIS CHANGE IN THE CAR. crying AND THIS COP PULLED ME OVER. SOMEONE GRAB THAT ROOSTER. I DON'TI CAN'T.

Neil Hilborn OCD Rustbelt 2013

The first time I saw her, everything in my head went quiet. All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images, just disappeared. When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don't really get quiet moments. Even in bed I'm thinking did I lock the door yes did I wash my hands yes did I lock the door yes did I wash my hands yes. But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips or the eyelash on her cheek the eyelash on her cheek the eyelash on her cheek.

I knew I had to talk to her. I asked her out six times. In thirty seconds. She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right so I had to keep going. On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating or talking to her, but she loved it. She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times, or twentyfour times if it was Wednesday. She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are a lot of cracks.

When we moved in together, She said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely locked the door eighteen times. I'd always watch her mouth when she talked when she talked when she talked when she talked when she talked. When she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges. At night, she'd lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off.

She'd close her eyes and imagine that days and nights were just passing in front of her. Some mornings, I'd start kissing her goodbye but she'd just leave because I was making her late for work. When I stopped at a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking. When she said she loved me, her mouth was a straight line. She told me I was taking up too much of her time. Last week she started sleeping at her mother's place. She told me that she shouldn't have let me.

Get so attached to her, that this whole thing was a mistake, but how can it be a mistake that I don't have to wash my hands after I touch her Love is not a mistake. It's killing me that she can run away from this and I just can't. I can't go out and find someone new because I always think of her. Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin. I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars. She was the first.

Beautiful thing I ever got stuck on. I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel. How she turns shower knobs like she's opening a safe. How she blows out candles blows out candles blows out candles blows out candles blows out candles blows out candles blows out now I just think about who else is kissing her. I can't breathe because he only kisses her once. He doesn't care if it's perfect. I want her back so bad, I leave the door unlocked.

Sabrina Benaim Explaining My Depression to My Mother

Explaining my depression to my mother a conversation mom, my depression is a shape shifter. one day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next it's the bear. on those days i play dead until the bear leaves me alone. i call the bad days the dark days. mom says try lighting candles. when i see a candle i see the flesh of a church, the flicker of a flame sparks of a memory younger than noon i am standing beside her open casket,.

It is the moment i learn every person i ever come to know will someday die. besides, mom, i'm not afraid of the dark. perhaps that's part of the problem. mom says i thought the problem was that you can't get out of bed. i can't. anxiety holds me a hostage inside of my house, inside of my head. mom says where did anxiety come from anxiety is the cousin visiting from out of town depression felt obligated to bring to the party. mom, i am the party. only i am a party I don't want to be at.

Mom says why don't you try going to actual parties. see your friends. sure, i make plans. i make plans, but I don't wanna go. i make plans because i know i should want to go. i know sometimes i would have wanted to go. it's just not that much fun having fun when you don't wanna have fun, mom. you see, mom, each night, insomnia sweeps me up in it's arms, dips me in the kitchen in the small glow of the stove light. insomnia has this romantic way of making the moon feel like perfect company.

Mom says try counting sheep. but my mind can only count reasons to stay awake. so I go for walks but my stuttering kneecaps clank like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists, they ring in my ears like clumsy church bells, reminding me i am sleepwalking on an ocean of happiness i cannot baptize myself in. mom says happy is a decision. my happy is a high fever that will break. my happy is as hollow as a pinpricked egg. mom says i am so good at making something out of nothing.

And then flat out asks me if I am afraid of dying. no, i am afraid of living. mom, i am lonely. i think i learnt it when dad left how to turn the anger into lonely, the lonely into busy. so when i tell you i've been super busy lately, i mean i've been falling asleep watching sportscentre on the couch to avoid confronting the empty side of my bed. but my depression always drags me back to my bed, until my bones are the forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city,.

Frank Defends Charlie in Court Scent of a Woman 88 Movie CLIP 1992 HD

And you are a liar. But not a snitch ! Excuse me No, l don't think l will. Mr. Slade. This is such a crock of shit ! Trask Please watch your Ianguage, Mr. Slade. You are in the Baird school, not a barracks. Mr. Simms, l will give you one final opportunity to speak up. Mr. Simms doesn't want it. He doesn't need to be labeled. ''still worthy of being a Baird man.'' What the hell is that What is your motto here.

''Boys, inform on your classmates, save your hide anything short of that, we're gonna burn you at the stake'' Well, gentlemen, when the shit hits the fan, some guys run. and some guys stay. Here's Charlie facin' the fire, and there's George. hidin' in big daddy's pocket. And what are you doin' You're gonna reward George. and destroy Charlie. Are you finished, Mr. Slade No, l'm just gettin' warmed up. Slade l don't know who went to this place. William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryant, William Tell, whoever.

Their spirit is dead, if they ever had one. lt's gone. You're buildin' a rat ship here, a vessel for seagoin' snitches. And if you think you're preparin' these minnows for manhood, you better think again, because l say you are killin' the very spirit. this institution proclaims it instills. What a sham. What kind of a show are you guys puttin' on here today l mean, the only class in this act is sittin' next to me. l'm here to tell you this boy's soul is intact. lt's nonnegotiable. You know how l know.

Someone here, and l'm not gonna say who, offered to buy it. Only Charlie here wasn't sellin'. Sir, you're out of order. l show you out of order. You don't know what out of order is, Mr. Trask. l'd show you, but l'm too old, l'm too tired, too fuckin' blind. lf l were the man l was five years ago, l'd take. a flamethrower to this place ! Out of order Who the hell you think you're talkin' to l've been around, you know There was a time l could see.

Blutos Big Speech Animal House 910 Movie CLIP 1978 HD

Looks like I missed something. ltigtBoonltigt ltigtYeah, you did.ltigt ltigtWe're all officiallyltigt ltigtkicked out of school.ltigt Wormer just got our grades. ltigtOtterltigt ltigtThey kicked us out of schoolltigt Huh! That makes sense. Hey! What's this lyin'around shit What the hell are we supposed to do, you moron War's over, man. Wormer dropped the big one. What Over Did you say over Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor ltigtHell, no!ltigt Germans Forget it. He's rolling. And it ain't over now.

'Cause when the goin' gets tough. the tough get goin'! Who's with me Let's go! Come on! Heeeeyyyy! What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know Where's the spirit Where's the guts, huh This could be the greatest night of our lives. but you're gonna let it be the worst. Oh, we're afraid to go with you, Bluto. We might get in trouble. Well, just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this! Wormer He's a dead man! Marmalard Dead! Neidermeyer Dead.

Wanted 511 Movie CLIP Wesleys Breakdown 2008 HD

SIGHS WHISPERING Wesley. Hey. What's up with you What do you mean You're. You're here early. Is. You seem a little pepped up. You all right Well, yeah. Yeah. I guess I feel kind of different. Whatever. I'm gonna go get some Postit Notes. Do you want one No. Really Yeah. Okay. Jesus H. fucking Popsicle, I still don't have my billing reports, but you've got time to sit here and Google your ass off. Well, I know one thing. You've got your review coming up next week, and I can't wait to start checking me off some big fucking boxes.

HEART BEATING Attitude, poor! Performance, poor! Management skills, poor! SCOFFS Works well with others. That's a fucking joke. HEART BEATING FASTER What is this bullshit Who's this prick Some loser gets his head blown off at the Metropolitan. Shut the fuck up! She has one single iota of tenuous power. She thinks she can push everyone around. You don't need this. SOFTLY I understand. Junior high must have been kind of tough, but it doesn't give you the right to treat your workers like horseshit, Janice. I know we laugh at you, Janice.

Schindlers List 89 Movie CLIP He Who Saves One Life Saves the World Entire 1993 HD

We've written a letter, trying to explain things..in case you are captured. Every worker has signed it. Thank you! It is Hebrew, from the Talmud. It says Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire. I could have got more out. I could have got more. I don't know. If I just. I could have got more. Oskar, there are 1,100 people who are alive because of you. Look at them. If I'd made more money. I threw away so much money. You have no idea. If I had just.

Mean Girls 310 Movie CLIP Regina Bashes Janis 2004 HD

I don't know, I mean, she's so weird. She just, you know, came up to me And started talking to me about crack. She's so pathetic. Let me tell you something about janis ian. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right It's so embarrassing. I don't even Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend, Kyle, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to indiana. And janis was, like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with kyle,.

She'd be like, why didn't you call me back And I'd be like, why are you so obsessed with me So then, for my birthday party, Which was an allgirls pool party, I was like, janis, I can't invite you, Because I think you're a lesbian. I mean, I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, right She was a lesbian. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at her. It was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school.

What I Wish Someone Told Me About Having Sex

I thought I knew everything there was to know about having safe sex. I thought I knew everything there was to know about having safe sex. Always carry a condom and never, ever get pregnant. But I guess what I needed more than a dental dam was a mental dam, because I just can't stop thinking about you. People love to talk about how to avoid STIs of the physical kind but nobody likes to talk about the STIs that can destroy your mind. The ones that can have you tossing and turning at 3 AM,.

Raking your brain and constantly wondering was I not good enough for him Was this just suppose to be a one time thing or, my favorite one, how could I be so stupid, enough to let him in My sister always told me that my body was a temple so never let a man in that doesn't take the proper time to worship you, because you are a goddess that is truly worth sacrificing for. I only wish that I had taken the time to listen to her more often. But instead, I chose to listen to you,.

And that would've been okay if it weren't for the fact that your love for me was untrue. Because you liked someone else when you said that you liked me too. Then deception turned into a matter of perception and everything started to feel like fifty questions, except at the end of the day I was still left guessing, and this asshole kept testing my patience. But my mama said patience is a virtue, and you said baby I'd never want to hurt you , but you did. You fucked me over and left my brain impregnated.

With your bastard babies called memories. It was all fun and games when I let you up in me but now you won't even take joint custody. It took all but two texts to get you through my door but let me text you about some child support. Just an honest why Because I will never let myself be reduced to some 2 AM whore, creeping out of windows and sneaking through back doors. I will never let myself be reduced to some side chick, just another side dish at the kitchen table,.

For you to pick at while you wait for your main entree, to just being your other bitch. I am a person. I have feelings and emotions that have a right to be protected. Just having a vagina and two tits should not make me any less deserving of your time, or someone to be disrespected. So, if you're gonna choose to be with her over me, well, I guess you have to do what is best then. I guess I just wish that we had taken the time to use both mental, and physical, protection,.

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