I havent shared too much about my life prior to meeting jesus, and that is because I am not proud of who I was. But I bring this testimony to you because I hope that YOU find Jesus and it spares you the heartbreak. See, I went through a serious depression in my life. In the year 2007 I was a junior in college. At that time I had entered a serious depression because I was NOT right with GOD. The depression lasted a year. I remember the very day that Jesus got me out of that depression. I had walked into the school gym and there was a.

Boxing bag, and i was so mad at god i started punching the boxing bag until my knuckles were bleeding and there was blood that was just oozing down the bag. I started crying and I left the gym. There happened to be a school mentor/counselor that was also in the gym that day. But he didnt say one thing to me, he didnt even want to look at me. There also happen to be a student who was attention the same college who was an exgang member. He had tattoos from prison and he had done serious time. He was the one.

Who walked up to me and he asked me if i was okay and he befriended me. jesus used him to break me free from my depression. However, at that point in my life I was still rebellious and still I didnt truly repent. But I asked God for a wife. I said; I want to be in a relationship, I want to be in a romantic relationship I also specifically remember the Holy Spirit convicting me and telling me YOUR WIFE IS NOT READY YET, YOU NEED TO WAIT. But see I was impatient/doubtful with God. And I told Him that I needed a wife.

Now. and so shortly later i got myself into a relationship. i want to tell you that it was HELL ON EARTH. It was Gods judgment on my life because I doubted Him and disobeyed Him. That relationship ended in heartbreak and it was my fault. I was not a good boyfriend I was not a good fianc, I was rebellious against GOD, and I had nothing to do with Jesus at that point. However I was also a youth pastor. I was paid to preach. And in church I put on a good face. People thought I was a very good person. But I knew that.

I was a whitewashed tomb. i was dead on the inside and rotting . it wasnt until after my relationship ended that I serious cried out to Jesus. Because I KNEW that I had ruined my life. I knew my life was a wreck. And I KNEW that I wasnt right with God because I was mad at Him. The thing is, when we pray and cry out to Jesus, HE hears our prayers, and for quite some time I just asked GOD if He is real, to reveal Himself if He is real. I was mad and upset at God, but I wanted ANSWERS. When I cried out to Jesus He answered me.

And he started speaking to me. and my testimony is that jesus christ is alive and he is real! And I am here to tell you that He will ALSO help YOU. But you NEED to put HIM FIRST. If you are going through a depression, He can break you free of your depression, but you NEED to put HIM FIRST in your life. And if you are in a bad relationship He can tell you exactly what you need to do. BUT YOU NEED TO PUT JESUS BEFORE ANY ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP OR ANY RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER. Too many people are placing people first in their life. They.

Are seeking after the pleasures of the world and they could care less about the kingdom of God. They could care less about what JESUS wants. And they THINK that if they do their own thing it will please them. It didnt work out for me and it certainly will not work out for anyone else. Jesus said that He is the ONLY way, and I am here to prove by my LIFE that Jesus TRULY is who He said He was, and He is who He says He is. Do you really want to know Jesus? Because HE can help you, but you need to surrender your life.

To him. shortly after i really repented on my knees, jesus told me that i was ready to meet my future wife, and it wasnt much later that I met her. Things started lining up AFTER I got my life in order, after I really meant business with Jesus. But until you really mean business with HIM, your life will be totally out of order and falling apart. Do you really mean business with Jesus? Do you really love Him and want to be reconciled with Him? May the grace of Jesus be with you.


Let me tell you there are some times in life When you fall down And you feel like you don’t have the strength to get back up There comes a time when The blank The blankness of future is so extreme.

To such a black wall of nothingness Not even of bad things It’s not like there is a cave full of monsters that you are afraid of entering in the future It is just nothingness Le nant as the french would say here La vide, the void, the emptiness.

And It is, just horrible It is horrible to contemplate, a futureless future If that isn’t too impossible Um, so you just want to to step out of it, to step out of the whole race, the whole business.

The monstrosity of being alive overwhelms you I thought what kind of purpose do I have to live I mean, do you, are you just here to live to die I mean is there not a purpose for me? Is there not a purpose in life I had questions and no answers.

And i asked my mom and dad, why did this happen ? and I asked s why did this happen and they don’t know There are some things in life that are out of your control that you can’t change and you’ve got to live with.

The choice that we have though is either to give up or keep on going The very first thing I want to offer you is empathy I understand that the feeling is real this idea that you want to just do an end.

Put an end to the entire game of life so beyond my empathy, and my care for you My heart going out to you I want to offer you this.

That there is a law There is a law in nature which is that of seasons, right ? so in a winter time it’s cold, right ? freezing f***ing cold in the winter time.

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