Divorce rate in california is how much now? well, in 2013 (we told everybody in 2014 that the statistics said 75%), but just based on how busy I am, I would say that we probably are still in that ball park for sure. So 75%. Yes. Staggering number. That’s absolutely insane to me. Are there any statistics that, you know, talk about the financial consequence of a divorce? Is there an average cost or anything like that? Well, again, I’m hoping we’ll do a future.

Show here on this with the new 2014 statistics. but the average litigated divorce costs a hundred thousand dollars on each side. So a total of 200,000 dollars. And it can take anywhere from a year and a half to 3 years to sometimes longer just depending on the complexity of the case, your attorney’s schedules, the court calendar, and there’s so many variables that are involved that can really drag that out and make it last a long time. So let’s print that down because I can’t really imagine a divorce on each side costing a hundred.

Thousand dollars just to litigate. there’s got to be more into that equation. is it also selling of a home or splitting assets? Or is that just the true cost of legal fees? That’s usually the true cost of legal fees. On there, maybe a forensic accountant involved in that scenario, and that can be expensive. Or a quadro meeting to be done to divide a pension plan. So it’s all divorce related. It does not necessarily mean that all that money’s going in the attorney’s pocket, but it’s related to the conclusion of that divorce.

Wow! i don’t even know how people can afford to get a divorce. I know. You would think that with the financial consequences that a divorce carriers, that people would figure out how to stick it out and not get to that level Or, use mediation as an alternative because it’s much more costeffective. Okay. So let’s talk about that for a second. Mediation, as I know it and as you explained earlier, but just a recap, is basically the.

Couple to jointly go to one person and talking about whatever their issues are and try to revolve something. Do they, in mediation, come in with their needs or a list of their wants? Or do they come mostly and say, Colleen, tell us what we deserve because we can’t decide on our own. It’s probably a little bit of a combination of both. Sometimes people will come in and say, We’ve already talked about X, Y, and Z, and we know what we want to do with that. So we have these outstanding issues that are.

D, e, and f and we’re going to need your help with that. and sometimes they’d come in and they have no idea what to discuss, because this is the first time their doing it. And I’ll guide them through the process and they usually do it issue by issue so that it doesn’t get as overwhelming. And before the show, we talked a little bit about other mediation companies, and you were actually kind of shocked yourself as to how little they do in comparison to what you do. Break that down for us and explain what a.

Good mediator should do for you all. okay. some things that you should look for ideally working with an attorneymediator, because they can give legal advice. And that’s huge when you’re going through the divorce process. You need to have someone there who can tell you what the law says and explain it to you. So that’s first and foremost that I think people should look for. You want it to be as much as a onestop shop as possible, so that you are working primarily with your mediator. You’re not also having to go meet.

With a financial adviser to figure out how to divide a 4o1k or prorate a pension. you’re not having to go work with a CPA to figure out whether or not you should be claiming your child on your taxes, or your spouse should. Or who’s going to claim the tax deductions for the home, and things like that. And those are all things that I provide as part of my service. And then I even go so far as to have my notary certification so that we don’t need to bring in a notary at the final signing. And I’m just able to do everything. And it.

What are the Signs of Financial Infidelity in a Marriage Orange County Divorce Mediation P3

Colleen, how do spouses even catch on to this double life? The two most common ways that they end up finding out is when there’s a death, because you know, finances are looked at that point, or obviously, when there’s a divorce. If there was a hidden account that nobody knew about, how does that pop up? Are there ways that other or hidden accounts all of a sudden pop up after a death certificate has been? Well, a lot of times banks, especially bank.

Accounts, have beneficiaries named. and so, you know, that could be a way that it could become disclosed. So, what are the red flags that spouses should be looking for to prevent the problem from spiraling out of control and destroying their marriages. I would say keeping an eye out for missing documentation, and any type of money that’s missing from the account, that seems weird and might be for an unusual expense that they’re not aware of. And anything that’s misdirected.

If you see that they’re getting mail from a different credit card company that you know you don’t have a credit card with. It may not be junk mail. You may assume that’s what it is but it could actually be a statement. So just keep an eye out and be alert. Another common situation, where maybe some of our listeners can even relate to it, is a situation where one of the parties (let’s just say for this case, it’s the wife) is giving funds to her parents on the side. And maybe they’re struggling financially to make.

Ends meet, and she doesn’t want to tell her husband about it because she either thinks he won’t be supportive or she’s embarrassed to say that her parents are not doing well enough. So she each month slowly gives a little bit of money, a little cash under the table, little things here and there, which end up accumulating over time. And all of a sudden, she finds that they’re living paycheck to paycheck. And this particular case, she actually stopped paying the mortgage payments. The husband had no idea because she was in charge.

Of all the finances. and the way he found out was that he came home from work one day and there was a bank notice on the front door saying that they were in jeopardy of foreclosure. Wow! You know, the thing about the parents, I’ve actually heard about that quite a few times especially after the recent years where there was a lot of people that were struggling. And we’ve talked about it on the show a lot too. Kids, in this case, are really stuck sometimes in bad situations where they’d have to take care of their elderly parents, and.

Their kids, and themselves. it could be a bad situation to be in especially if you’re not talking to your spouse. And that’s one thing that I would want everybody to hear right now on the takeaway is that, Talk to your spouse. Sit down. Go over the finances together. Go over your concerns about the future and how you’re going to set things up. It will alleviate a lot of the stress and I’ll bet you agree that you’ll find that most of the time with a good conversation, you both could be on the same page.

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