When someone you love betrays your trust, it can feel like an hopeless hurdle to overcome. But the truth is, with a little tender love and care, and dedication from both spouses, it’s completely possible for your marriage to survive infidelity. My name is Brad Browning, Im a marriage coach from Vancouver, BC. You may recognize me from another one of my tutorials, or have heard about my bestselling Mend the Marriage program, designed to help married couples work through their hardships and recommit.
To one another. but today im going to talk about how to overcome cheating in your marriage. Before we get started its important to note that before any progress can be made in repairing the marriage, the unfaithful spouse must first end their affair. Once thats done, both spouses must commit to repairing the damage, rebuilding trust, and working through the following steps to save their marriage and emerge stronger on the other side.
Here they are: 1. openly talk about the affair. In order to move past the infidelity, its important that both partners are given the opportunity to share their feelings and get the insight they need to move on. The betrayed spouse should ask questions about the things they need to know. For example, how long did the affair last? Was it sexual or emotional? What was the extent of the lies that were told to conceal it? And is there any risk of an STD or pregnancy? Although they may.
Have the urge to learn the xrated details of the sexual encounters, they shouldnt ask. Instead of causing more unnecessary pain, keep the focus on the relationship, not the affair. Its also important that the unfaithful spouse shares the thoughts and feelings they had that caused them to cheat. Doing so will help you both understand the underlying problems you face. 2. Practice honesty and work on rebuilding trust.
Its crucial that spouses provide all details honestly and completely, and take the steps necessary to prove their trustworthiness. Even though telling the truth can be tough, its been proven that couples heal better after an affair if the adulterous spouse supplies all of the information requested by his or her betrayed partner. If you never discuss it, you cannot recover. A willingness to talk about the affair will rebuild trust, but if you leave out details and they come out in the future, then your spouse will feel betrayed.
All over again. Another great way to work on rebuilding trust is by making sure that your actions match up with your words. For example, if you say, I love you, back it up with loving actions. If you say, I want our marriage to work, then commit to being monogamous. There is nothing worse for your partner than to find out theyre being lied to. 3. Patiently face your feelings.
Infidelity has a devastating impact on a marriage, but if you can stop and fully feel the heartache, you will be surprised at what is possible. Once you face your feelings and give yourself time to process them, they will begin to shift. Its true youll never forget the affair, but with time, the painful memories will begin to fade. The single best indicator of whether a relationship can survive infidelity is how much empathy the unfaithful partner shows when the betrayed spouse gets emotional about the affair. It.
Can be frustrating to hear the same things over and again, but its important to be understanding of their feelings. After an affair is over, a couple has a window of opportunity to fix what was wrong and make their marriage better than ever. However, the emotional reactions that are left over from the affair may stand in the way. Its important that spouses takes healing seriously and dont try to rush their recovery. Grieving together can help you let go of whats lost to make room for your future together.