Marriage Relationship Advice How to Fix a Bad Relationship
Hi, I'm Patti German and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here in New York City. In this clip, we are going to talk about how to fix a bad relationship. Best place to start on is to understand what the problem is. For instance, if there are constant fighting we have to understand what's underneath the fighting. There are four indicators of whether a marriage can really go on or a relationship is in trouble. One is if there is constant criticizing, if there is contempt, if there is defending, and if there is stonewalling. So we look at.
Marriage Relationship Advice How to Fix Communication Problems
Hi, I'm Patti German and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here in New York City. In this clip, we are going to talk about how to fix communication problems. The most important part of communicating is to learn to be a very good listener. Part of what happens in relationships is people start yelling at each other and no one can hear anything when you are being yelled at. So, to understand what communication is, is to really hear what someone is talking about, and where it's coming from within them. Is it coming from a place of.
Relationship Advice 1 Reason Why Relationships Fail!
The road to better relationships always starts with you. Eleanor Roosevelt has said Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world. What that means is that in order to build a fulfilling relationship, you must first start with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the basis for all your relationships. If you don't truly love and accept yourself, then you can't truly accept love and acceptance from others. The 1 reason relationships fail is because people haven't taken the time to know and.
How Do You Move Forward in a Relationship When You Have Emotional Walls
Bjbj How Do You Move Forward in a Relationship When You Have Emotional Walls YouTube 00007 Hi. I m Michael D Amari, author of the upcoming book Women Have All the Power, They Just Forgot. One of the questions I m always asked when speaking to a group of women is, How do I move forward in this process with so many walls up Now if you ve never used the term walls , we re talking about emotional barriers and those types of things. My answer to this is very blunt. Number one, stop using that phrase and number two, you have to remove.
Those walls. The first reason I say this is because walls do exactly what they re intended to do. They will block out the bad. They will protect you from the pain or the hurt that you ve experienced in the past. The problem with the wall is that it also blocks out the good. If that s the case, you will never be able to look out into the horizon and see your ultimate goal. As we all know, part of achieving a goal is staying focused on it but if you stand behind the wall and block yourself from the vision of that goal, you.
Will never achieve it. The second reason I m not a fan of the walls terminology is because the point of pain is to learn and grow. If you put a wall up around yourself, you re trapped inside that wall with that pain. To give you a depiction, I would like for you to play along with me for a second. Close your eyes and imagine those castlesized walls that we ve seen in movies or read about in books. Now, look up. Look at how tall they are. It seems pretty secure in that space, doesn t it Now what about this idea The.
Stones that you walk on are lined with the lies that you ve been told. All the deceit that you ve experienced, that s the grass beneath your feet. However, that won t grow because the hurt keeps it muddy and unstable 00144 Indiscernible. Now ask yourself, Is that where you want to live constantly The idea is to tear down those walls and continue to look out on the horizon so that you can move forward. You must remove those walls and allow yourself to run or walk to the emotional security you aspire to have. Now, if you want.
To make this a leisurely journey, by all means take your time. If you see what you want and you want to sprint, that s OK too. The idea is that you must keep moving. Do not let yourself get trapped behind the walls. Instead, find a direction. Focus on your end goal and continue to move towards that. Until we meet again, remember you have the power. So don t convince yourself you want less just because it s getting harder to get more. 00229 PAGE MERGEFORMAT gdl ContentTypes.xml Iw, $yi rels.rels themethemethemeManager.xml sQ themethemetheme1.xml.
Love and Marriage Husband and Wife Relationship Advice
Hi I'M Dr. John Lund author of How to Hug a Porcupine. The problem is never that people don't love each other folks it's not about that. When people get divorced it wasn't because there wasn't a time when they didn't love each other. It was their inability to resolve their conflicts in healthy ways. That was the heart and core of 99.999 percent of all those relationships that either terminate or if they stay together they stay together in a roommate kind of a capacity not really emotionally married or committed but nevertheless.
In the relationship. Now how do we avoid that How can we stay connected Well we are talking about criticism and I had mentioned that the way my wife wants to be approached is to have me write it down and then I give it to her, she processes it and gets back to me. There are only one of three responses. One, I thought about what you are going to say I want you to know that I have thought about it and I am going to make this change.
Another is, I hear your criticism I have read it, I've thought about it and I think you need some more information from me because I don t think you have the complete picture here. Or thirdly, Listen I thought about it and I ain't going to change no matter what so you better learn to live with it. Well that certainly is another alternative right Well and those are the three reactions. Now the way I want to be approached is I want to know on a scale of one to ten either a two or a nine as to how painful it is going.
To be and then secondly if it's a nine I need time to prepare myself and I have said to my wife that, Honey you can give me a little time to prepare and I promise to get back to you in the next two or three hours We have a limit of about three hours and so unless you are on a plain or some other foreign circumstance that wouldn't be conducive to that but other than that other than that what I am talking about is I will get.
Back to her and then I sit and then she gives me the criticism what ever it may be and my first response is to listen, the first response. Now the reason I'm talking this threw with you very carefully is that we need to develop replacement skills, that is that whatever you learned growing up in your own family and your interaction in the family that you were raised in if it's not functional if it's not working if it's not leading for the two of you getting closer together and helping you become your highest best selves,.
Than we have to replace that behavior with another behavior. And the behavior I am talking about right now is criticism and we need to learn to give that criticism and there is an art to doing it. So with my wife for example when she says, I have got a 9! Then I get myself ready, I sit there I listen to her and this is the replacement skill I say. Okay to whatever the criticism was. I repeat it back to her and then she confirms that, that indeed was what her concern was and now I know what it is. I can't always respond.
Instantly and so we have agreed that there will be a little period of time where I can think about and process that and I will get back to her. Now most of the issues that we are going to deal with in marriage or other relationships are not the child is playing in the freeway right now and you need 3 hours to get ready for this Most of the time we are going to be dealing with issues that we are upset about at the moment and probably the least capable of dealing with at that moment and so its really really wise to give.
Relationship Advice Are You in a Toxic Relationship
January is the biggest month for breakups. With that being said, my goal is not to break up any relationships. My goal is to create awareness of the 1 sign you're in a toxic relationship. The sad part is many people categorize the 1 sign as normal. If you spend more time fighting each other than you do, enjoying each other, you're in a toxic relationship. Don't ignore it. Feel free to comment below. And don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. I'm Andre Bellfield. I want to thank you for watching. And I'll see you tomorrow!.
Can Sex Save Your Relationship
Hi guys, Michael Griswold here with a controversial question, Can Sex Save A Relationship In other words, if your relationship is shitty and you guys don't communicate well but you really are great in bed really feel passion is not enough. Is that something that you can build momentomly Is that something that you can build on Well, I think we both agree that its not and that it's destined to just be a lustful affair that ends up in both people getting hurt. But it's surprising isn't it how often we get into that situation How.
Often we though we consciously think sex won't save a relationship subconsciously we think that it will. Now, here's the deal and here's the reality is that those sex can't save a relationship. It sure as hell can kill it. And it can kill it in two ways it can kill itsex can kill your relationship by being really bad and not being able to communicate about it to make it better, or it can kill your relationship by being the only thing there is. In the same way that if, you know, your sex life might be great but brownies.
Are great. If you eat nothing but brownies and that's all you have then your relationship with yourself, your relationship with food will be an unhealthy one. And you'll be fat and you'll be unhappy. In the same way, if your relationship with your partner is only around sex or primarily around sex then all these other things are gonna build up these subtle resentments. And after a while they don't become so subtle anymore. So, listen if you're in that situation recognize that your sex life isn't going to save a shitty.
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