Counseling Laguna Hills 714 '01652 Four Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble
Hi. Robyn D'Angelo here, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Relationship Specialist. Today I'm talking to you about four signs that your marriage could be in trouble. So, research shows that people in longterm, committed, unhappy relationships actually have lower selfesteem. They struggle with things like depression and anxiety. And they even have a higher chance of illness. So this really speaks to the severity of being in an unhappy relationship and how it can negatively impact, so not only, you know, mentally and emotionally, but also physically. So, there are four basic behaviors that are considered relationship.
Killers. And the first one is criticism. So, what this looks like is when you blame or put fault on your partner in a way that you're putting negative remarks out there of them. So that's like, You're just so lazy. Or, You never listen to me. Things like that. What happens when you consistently do this over time is you chip away at that love and that trust in your relationship. So, that's the first sign. The second sign is defensiveness. Defensiveness is basically when you're not taking any responsibility for your behaviors.
Or it's when you verbally attack or get kind of verbally aggressive with your partner in a response to any feedback from them. And what happens is this just melts away the connection between you and your partner. And, the third thing is contempt. So, when you have a contemptuous attitude toward your partner, you are kind of doing what we call like kind of zingers or kind of sticks with really negative comments to them. And that looks like namecalling. It can even look like kind of scoffing at them or mocking them. Because when you are contemptuous,.
You're basically saying, I'm superior to you and you're defective. That's the message that you're sending to your partner. So you can see how this can really negatively impact a relationship. And the fourth sign is something called stonewalling. And so this is when you purposely withdraw from a conversation, whether you're in conflict or it's just uncomfortable, with the intent to stop all communication. And this can look like, say you're on the phone with your partner in a heated conversation and they hang up on you or you hang up on.
Them. Or, it can look like you're having a conversation with your partner and it's one of those Fine, whatever, forget it. That's stonewalling. That's cutting off the communication. It can be really, really negatively impactful on your relationship. So, these four signsthese are actually what Drs. Julie and John Gottman call the four horsemen of the apocalypse. And they sound just awful and that's because they are. So, if you're seeing some of these come up in your relationship and you'd like more help on how to eliminate these, give.
What Can Save My Marriage When Everything Seems Hopeless
What can save my marriage when everything seems hopeless marriage is considered a sacred institution by most of the world's religions it is the foundation of the family which in turn is the foundation for society. so there is a lot of emphasis on saving a marriage but that doesn't mean that marriages today don't run into trouble the changing roles of men and women, financial pressures and difficulties with children all make it hard to make marriages work. so who do you turn to perhaps the best place to look is the institution that.
Values marriage more than any other the church. while a clinical psychologist or licensed family therapist will take an individualistic approach to marriage counseling a pastor will focus on making marriage work in a moralistic sense. overall this is a better chance of actually saving the marriage why is a pastoral counselor better than a secular therapist a secular therapists education focuses almost entirely on treating individual psychopathologies. even marriage and family designated counselors may have only one class or elective dealing specifically with couples therapy. do you think this approach can save marriage.
A pastoral counselor on the other hand will be educated in how to bring couples closer together. with the exception of abuse in the relationship they have the fundamental belief that once the vows are taken, the marriage is forever. some pastoral counselors have formal education and counseling more and more seminaries are offering pastoral counseling degrees but even ministers without a formal degree take classes and seminars in the subject if you don't have a church home you might have some difficulty finding a pastor to help you and you don't have six months to establish membership in a church before.
Approaching the pastor in this case you can call various churches and ask them if they have any upcoming couples retreats where you can save a marriage through the weekend seminars once you have established a relationship with a skilled pastorelli settings you may be able to do followup counselor with the same person a good couples retreat will help you deal with many different types of issues there will be group sessions in Cup live sessions you will also have time to work on questions individually communication is a big issue with these conferences.
If you can work on your communications issues you will find that the other pieces of the relationship fall into place sex finances and child raising are also addressed the goal is to get you back on track in every aspect of your relationship you dont have to be on the same page going um but the hope is that you will be when you leave marriage is tough sometimes it seems like the relationship cannot endure but there are so many reasons to see if you can't make it work.
Marriage Relationship Advice Finding Help for a Troubled Relationship
Hi, I'm Patti German and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here in New York City. In this clip, we're going to talk about finding help for a troubled relationship. The best place to start is of course to find a qualified professional person who is able to deal with relationship work. Relationship is about two people together. It's not just for her or for him, or for two guys or two girls. It's about the relationship. So I highly recommend a person who is qualified to work with relationships and understands the dynamics that each person.
Saving Your Marriage
SIRENS POLICE RADIO CONVERSATION 35yearold male with severe trauma. He's not breathing. Clear. A marriage, like a human life, is a precious, living thing. If our bodies are sick, we seek to heal them. We do not give up. While there is any prospect of life we seek healing again and again. The weakening of the concept that marriages are permanent and precious has farreaching consequences. I speak out of concern but with hope. The same should be true of our marriages. And if we seek Him, the Lord will help us and heal us.
Marriage Relationship Advice How to Save a Marriage From Addiction
Hi, I'm Patti German and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here in New York City. In this clip, we're going to talk about how to save a marriage from addiction. Addiction is a very difficult part in a relationship. There are many, many types of addictions. It's not just drugs and alcohol. It can be work, it can be computers, it can be food, it can be out shopping. So, I think the most important thing when you start to see an addiction coming about is to seek professional help. Addictions go back through the generations,.
Through families of origin, and to understand where addiction is in the families of origin. What underlies all addictions is not having the love that you needed at a particular time. So addictions cover up the feelings and help numb what it is your really feeling. And again, underneath every addiction is a feeling of not being loved. So, with professional help we can get to the bottom of this sense of being, of what causes an addiction and help to end the pattern. This is Patti German in New York City.
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