Marriage Counseling San Jose FREE cheatsheet on preventing divorce
Hi. This is Michelle from Counseling Recovery. And today I want to talk to you about the four signs of emotional meltdown in relationships and what to do instead. So, these are from the Gottman Institute where they did research with 677 couples on what predicts divorce. And what was amazing about this is that they actually predicted divorce with 93 percent accuracy, which is pretty incredible and why I want to share it with you today. The other thing I'm gonna say, starting off, is that if you find yourself relating to any four.
Of these characteristics, don't freak out. It doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed or anything is gonna happen. It's just a warning sign for you on what to correct because these predict divorce not when it happens once or twice, but when it's a longterm pattern of behavior. Ok So the first two are criticism and defensiveness. And they go together. Back and forth, one person starts with a critical comment, the other one reacts. Those are pretty basic and most of us find ourselves falling into that on occasion until.
We learn better skills. The third one, and this is the one that predicts divorce the most, is when there's contempt. And that's a much more intense form of criticism where you're really implying that your partner is stupid, ugly, not enough. You feel better than. This can be indirect with a look or directly with a comment. It can be very abusive. That's the part where you really want to look at because that's the one that really predicts divorce. Now, the fourth one is stonewalling. And, typically, the research says that men.
Do this more than women, but not always. And that's when, during a conflict, you are shut off. You just say, Eh, I'm done. And you get silent, you leave the room, you no longer participate out of anger. So, that's where your partner feels abandoned, feels like, Well, you're not even participating in the conflict. Why can't we work this out But the partner, for whatever reason, just shuts off and usually that's because either lack of skill or stress level is way too high and they can't continue it and they need more.
Skills in that area. So, for the antidotes, what you do instead is, with criticism, instead of being critical, ask your partner up front Hey, can we talk about the money tonight I really need to talk. And get an agreement up front. Or, if your feelings are hurt, just say that. Use an I message. Defensiveness, the antidote is find the grain of truth in the feedback you're given. So, if your partner is giving you some critical feedback, what's the grain of truth that you could feed back to them and say, Yeah, you're right. I did.
Do that. You don't have to agree with all of it. It's just one part that you could validate for your partner where their feedback is correct. Ok. Now, contempt, that means you've really got to look at your stress level because usually when there's contempt, there's a lot of underlying resentment and hurt that hasn't been expressed. So, it leaks out in the contempt. So, the antidote for contempt is tell your partner how you're feeling when it happens. If they hurt your feelings, let them know it up front. Don't let it build up. Now, for stonewalling,.
That's more about managing your stress and getting the tools so you can do it differently. So, if you know you're an eight on the scale of one to ten in terms of stress level, tell them that. Say, You know what, right now isn't a good time for me to do conflict. Let's talk about it tomorrow. I need to calm down first. The other part with stonewalling is you have to be willing to have the conflict and sometimes people need to do that by getting therapy, by learning some skills, or just by doing some breaths and saying Ok, you.
What Indian Foods to Avoid During Pregnancy
Can you tell me what Indian foods to avoid during pregnancy Avoid any foods that give you indigestion, because pregnancy brings acid reflux to a lot of women and spicy foods make that worse for a lot of people. Indian foods aren't particularly bad for me in that regard. Though I've heard some foods are better than others. You should avoid high caffeine foods like Middle East coffees. Those tend to be as potent as a Starbucks double shot mocha. I read that a Saudi woman could divorce her husband for not giving her coffee.
And they're debating whether he can divorce her via text message. All you have to do is say Talaq three times. I've heard that you should avoid foods that increase your body heat, but that makes no sense. That's an Asian belief, that foods are associated with temperatures and chi and energies. In reality, your major concern is making sure the food is fully cooked and not left out at room temperature. A lot of their spices are supposedly good for you. Don't take herbs or spices with medicinal properties. If you can't take Tylenol, you.
Certainly shouldn't eat potent herbs. But ginger is good for nausea. Yes, ginger is good for nausea, though it burns if you throw it up. I read that women should stay away from a lot of fruits like pineapple and vegetables, despite that being the best foods to eat while pregnant. A lot of Indians have to be careful eating raw greens and all dairy because of food hygiene or the lack thereof in India. Pineapple and papaya aren't bad for you and actually quite healthy if the citrus won't worsen indigestion.
Divorce Advice Top Reasons for Divorce
The top reasons for not winning the lottery are because the odds are against you. The top reasons for divorce well that's another story. And this is Dr. Paul author of Boomer girls, a boomer woman's guide to men and dating and host of ask Dr. Paul. The top reasons for divorce, somehow I feel like one of the comedians who comes up with the top ten reasons. And we won't go there on a comic way because it's not funny.The number one is adultery. Number one is cheating. Ok. That's number one. We are not going to go through top ten.
But childcare is another one. They disagree on how to raise children but that's way down the list. Finances is another one. Ok. That's probably number two in that top ten if you will and we are not going to go through ten but number two is having a real financial difficulty with each other. One is a saver and one is a spendthrift and it doesn't work. Or you've gotten yourself so deeply into debt that you are arguing about it all the time. It's a bad, bad scenario. Number three oddly enough, number three comes under the category.
Of addiction. And it can be an addiction that maybe minor, one person sees it as minor, the other sees it as major. Be it alcohol, or drugs or gambling or smoking. The smokernonsmoker is a recipe for divorce beyond belief. Another issue one of the top issues in getting divorced is risk taking. Suddenly one person wants to go into business and is willing to take a big risk and mortgages the farm, the house whatever and the other one says, whoa stop right now I'm not a risk taker. Those things should have been probably exercised in terms.
Sesame Street Little Children, Big Challenges Divorce What is Divorce
GORDON Hey guys. ELMO Oh, hi Gordon. GORDON Hey, what are you doing ELMO Oh, drawing pictures. GORDON Oh, really Of what ROSITA Of our homes. ABBY Yep, yep, we're drawing where we live. GORDON Really Can I see ELMO Oh look, Gordon, look. This is a picture of Elmo's apartment, see Elmo still has to draw in the sky. GORDON That looks just like your building, Elmo great job. ELMO Thank you. ROSITA And look, look, this is my home. GORDON Oh, I just love all the colorful flowers. Great drawing, Rosita.
ROSITA Gracias. ABBY Oh, oh, and check this out, Gordon. This is the picture of my house, and this is the picture of my other house. GORDON Oh, these are both beautiful drawings, Abby. ELMO Wait, wait, what does Abby mean, other house ROSITA You have two houses ABBY Uh huh this one is where I live with my mommy, and this one is where I live with my daddy. ELMO But Abby, why don't you all live in one house together ABBY Well, because my parents are divorced. ROSITA Divorced.
26 Questions Asians Have For White People
Why do you think every Asian person is Chinese That's like me saying to a white person, hey you're English. Fuck. Why do you think a film or TV show is diverse just because there are one or two black people in it We're here too. Why are the awkward nerd characters the only roles available for Asians in film We do a lot of other stuff too. Why are all of you talking about our penises Why do you think Asians can't be the stars of movies.
There aren't going to be Asian celebrities out there to cast if we haven't been given a chance yet. Why do you think that watching Korean dramas and KPop makes you an expert on Korean culture Like, does me watching Girls make me an expert in white culture It does. Why do you cast white people to play roles that are meant for Asian people I'm not gonna forget, Emma Stone. Why do you think saying namaste is an appropriate way to greet me Why do you think saying ni hao.
Is a good thing to say to us If you're not actually going to converse with me in Chinese, I don't need to hear it. Why do you think I eat dogs I have two dogs! Why do you think that Hindi and Hindu are the same thing Why are you so surprised that I can speak English well I was born in America. Why do you always ask me, where are you really from because obviously I'm from my mom's vagina. Why do you guys think it's okay to call me.
An immigrant or a foreigner I was born in America. Why do you think Indians aren't Asians India is literally in Asia. Why do you say it's basically the same thing when I tell you i'm from Sri Lanka and not India They're different countries. Why does a person of color automatically mean black to you I'm a person of color too. Why do you think all brown people are Indian Why do you think you deserve a high five for pronouncing my name correctly Why do you think including diversity in the workplace.
Reduces the quality of work I thought you thought we were all nerds. Why do you think it's okay to call me exotic I mean technically we're the largest part of the world population, so shouldn't white people be exotic Why do you think I can't see properly Do you really think my eyes are that small Why is it weird when all Asian people hang out, but it's fine when all white people hang out. So tell me, what does a sunburn feel like Why do you keep trying to justify yellow fever.
I don't know why they use fever for all these things, it's not a disease. It's just fucking. Why are we being stereotyped as being cheap or stingy Maybe I'm just cost efficient. Why do you think all Asian people are smart I mean, when I was in high school there was a Korean valedict. No actually there was an Indian valedictorian No, damnit. I guess you guys are right! Asians are smart! Have you tried that new white people restaurant There's like, a mayonnaise dish that is so mayonnaisy.
Who should have Custody of the kids in a divorce Boanma Durumunda ocuk Kimde Kalmal
In the event the parents can't decide who should have Custody of the kids What is the ruling regarding this matter in Islam Maintenance Payments are to be paid by the father without exceptions The Quran says, the woman bears the child, but she bears the Baby under the name of her husband. The child which was born for his father has to clothe, provide food, shelter. etc. for the child in Surah AlBaqarah Maintenance should be paid till this daughter gets married the maintenance for his son should be the same.
It shouldn't stop when he reaches the age of puberty what should he eat or during It's not going to be enough and he would stay hungry. resulting to possible death. The father has to look after his kids. Who should the custody be given to after a divorce There is a different Islamic ruling between boys girls, if it is a girl, she should remain with her mom till she is 9 years of age, and after that she should be turned over to her father. The female child shouldn't be removed from her mother till then.
The male child should remain with his mom till he is between the ages of 5 and 6 after that period he should be turned over to his Father. Why is the male child being turned over to his father sooner So the male child can grow up around his father and other males. if he would to stay around women most of the time, it could influence his character In today's society it has been brought up and researched that when a person who has many feminine traits grew up around women. at least that is what we are hearing.
Man Sues Wife for Being Ugly, Wins
And then in china has one one hundred twenty thousand dollars after over a court settlement after he sent his wife for being too ugly so it turns out that act he got his wife pregnant after the white delivered the child he claimed that that she cheated on him because the child was too ugly and looked nothing like that the mother of the child in her on his wife which he is now divorced uh. now it turns out that i had spent a hundred thousand dollars on plastic.
Surgery to improve my works which is what you see there the before and after picture which by the way three plastic surgeon okay personal largely s plastic surgery return see how that might be some exceptions and and this is a hundred of most somewhat wellspent disability for two hundred enough to be able to get the merce she apparently desired uh. but several of our house was a bit of a dumbass visit as good as that plastic surgery is it's so pretty obvious but there was plastic surgery and like what you thought.
Where you would hear from your kid the post plastic surgery come on that so stupid now don't have the heart to you publicly announced that you think your child is hideous nonwestern worthwhile and as a people life because this well exist for the for eternity on the internet no no i mean whatever it is a school due to your soul only your data is to your mom can you imagine say where where would i get written and i know you have an ugly emer and here the most part.
I came alive and happy one how do you think com output that hand he come up with that number one hundred twenty thousand dollars he probably translates veteran transparency and thank you guys feel that his wife had the obligation to tell him hanging in the past i had plastic proceed so no not others make sense we can't believe you wanna partisan seven of us and dumbass refers link indulge a blessing surgery well that's a sad day for you started as soon as you can still ugly what kind of sick that argument.
And looked down and i i'm i'm finding them i say hey you know what you got to be a lot of this man your wife's hotter than she would have been otherwise you pay for all of it does not work for a pleasant surgery the amount is work tylenol do do not consider myself a pretty in the aftermath of drugs with my kid is in the being some kind of thing on the phone withdrawn behavior so that the faa also v effective if that my kid can talk more about.
Avoiding Divorce, Indian Style Very Funny!!!!
Avoiding Divorce, Indian Style Very Funny!!!!,Avoiding Divorce, Indian Style Very Funny!!!!.
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