Rethinking infidelity a talk for anyone who has ever loved Esther Perel
Why do we cheat? And why do happy people cheat? And when we say quot;infidelity,quot; what exactly do we mean? Is it a hookup, a love story, paid sex, a chat room, a massage with a happy ending? Why do we think that men cheat out of boredom and fear of intimacy, but women cheat out of loneliness and hunger for intimacy? And is an affair always the end of a relationship?.
For the past 10 years, I have traveled the globe and worked extensively with hundreds of couples who have been shattered by infidelity. There is one simple act of transgression that can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness and their very identity: an affair. And yet, this extremely common act is so poorly understood. So this talk is for anyone who has ever loved.
Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, the taboo against it. In fact, infidelity has a tenacity that marriage can only envy, so much so, that this is the only commandment that is repeated twice in the Bible: once for doing it, and once just for thinking about it. (Laughter) So how do we reconcile what is universally forbidden,.
Yet universally practiced? Now, throughout history, men practically had a license to cheat with little consequence, and supported by a host of biological and evolutionary theories that justified their need to roam, so the double standard is as old as adultery itself. But who knows what’s really going on under the sheets there, right? Because when it comes to sex,.
The pressure for men is to boast and to exaggerate, but the pressure for women is to hide, minimize and deny, which isn’t surprising when you consider that there are still nine countries where women can be killed for straying. Now, monogamy used to be one person for life. Today, monogamy is one person at a time. (Laughter) (Applause).
I mean, many of you probably have said, quot;I am monogamous in all my relationships.quot; (Laughter) We used to marry, and had sex for the first time. But now we marry, and we stop having sex with others. The fact is that monogamy had nothing to do with love.
Men relied on women’s fidelity in order to know whose children these are, and who gets the cows when I die. Now, everyone wants to know what percentage of people cheat. I’ve been asked that question since I arrived at this conference. (Laughter) It applies to you.
Valentines Day Leads to Infidelity
Actually madison the website that is that that was created for married couples who wanted sheet uh. hasn’t and the most undp people sitting in the united states and to take a guess as to which city lies it was deceit i think i mean you know number one is do you see the with the way that they do this is a look at the total number of members that sign up for the of particular year so they were looking at twenty twelve and it was thirty four thousand one hundred fifty seven new members in.
Twenty twelve from d_c_ coming and number two was often a number three houston interestingly enough to cities from texas but of course awesome liberal so uh. anyway so i’ll ask you that we’re option are so that’s ok any updated ho and so on what do you see attached ltd on the top of the list for the second year in a row now here’s land we did a story to about how dcs uh. filtering rankers there.
Wasa most amount of porn effort ever in the countryside which god blesses on the wrong but but in this case she and your wife that of course does have issues uh. look you’re away from your family in bc for a lot of these a political figures some of our politicians summer staff members is set.
Up a lot more away from their families which are back in their home states plus a lot of these guys are powerful so they have more opportunity i think the number one reason men cheat is whiskey vitriol is opportunity workday it’s easy for a guy sitting in his home but it it passed out she.
With no opportunities that inci and congratulations okay would be gone through the dot com wrote a lot about money and there were two of them was on and sits a recipe for being number one as soon as well as salsa lawrence’s in statistics that so awsome madison talked about the highest ad number of new members and which day of the year they get the highest new members uh. employed yeah highest number of members and day is february fifteenth.
And the reason why they may be reviewed it and the vast majority of them are women is even today after about times day and they might be a little disappointed with what their husband did or didn’t do on valentine’s day by examining women are under dust terrible son there but let’s look at the statistic in fact so and then get on four hundred thirty nine percent increase in membership sign ups.
Compared to the typical number of daily sign ups and miracle course married women largely true about this time oil creek guys it’s hard not to get frustrated right starring death all right but i would say i don’t know also yacht but they are why so freakin difficult for me regards to do and accepted the set all that’s all you’re on the car.