4 ways to fight for your marriage

Hey everybody. Today I am offering up four ways to fight for your marriage. Now the first way is, Keeping your relationship safe. Now I know that sounds kind of silly. But what I’m talking about is keeping it emotionally safe. So that you and your spouse feel free to talk to one and other, About things that make you feel vulnerable.

And things that you are scared about. And that you feel okay opening up and bringing up anything. And one of the techniques that I actually use. And you can look this up, And this is something that many therapists use. Is called the speaker listener technique. And I call it the Floor. I keep this in my office and I use it all of the time.

And it has certain rules. And you can see how this will help keep you and your spouse more safe. Now the first are the rules for the person speaking. Whoever has the floor. And those are, Speak for yourself, Don’t mind read, Only speak about yourself.

Keep your statements brief, Don’t go on and on and on. And three, Stop and let the listener paraphrase. Okay. Now the rules for the listener, Whoever is listening at that time. Paraphrase what you hear.

And two, focus on the speaker’s message. This isn’t rebuttal. You’re not going to paraphrase and say, ‘But. You know, that was wrong. Because I was there. And you.’ That’s not what this is about. And by doing this, We slow down the communication process. Allow it to be safer.

Allow each person to feel heard. And then we can have a safe conversation. We can talk about anything. It can keep our relationship more communicative. And overall more safe. The second way to fight for your marriage, Is to be responsible for your side of the road. I say this to clients all of the time.

Any kind of conflict or relationship. We are only responsible for our side of the road. Whatever the other person does, Isn’t something we can control. We can only control what we do. And so in those moments when we feel triggered. When they have done that thing that has been driving us crazy for years. Or when they have lashed out and we just want to scream,.

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