Firemen SLUMMY MUMMY Ep 6 MomCaveTV Newborn baby new mom
Birds chirping. Silence except for birds chirping. You did it buddy! You slept through the whole night in your own bed. I'm going back to sleep. Loud Fire Alarms going off. What the hell Fireman Ma'am, we've got to get you and the baby out of here. Walkie talkie noises. What We've got to get you and the baby out of here. What is going on! Fireman Mrs. Funkhauser in 14A set the toaster on fire. Jen Again! Fireman Out of an abundance of caution, we must evacuate this floor. Alarms continue going off.
Sweep Scoop SLUMMY MUMMY Ep 4 MomCaveTV New mom baby babies newborn marriage
Blues music. Loud baby cries. It's time to go to sleep, sweetie. Go to sleep. Go to sleep. Mama loves you. You've been fed, and changed, and I even let you watch TV. It's time to go to sleep. I suck at this. If my mom was here, he'd be out. Babe. let me show you how it's done. It's all in the knees. Here we go. Here we go. See Now watch me. Sweep and scoop. Sweep and scoop. I can't do that. Yeah, you can. No, I literally CAN'T do that. My thighs are burning from strollercize.
That woman is the Nazi of postnatal fitness. Maybe she wants to sell our babies on the black market. I don't know. But I don't think we're going to make it out alive. You know what I think about that. I mean, it's a waste of your energy. You are already exhausted as it is and you look great. That class is just a way for the women in the neighborhood to compete with each other. Now men. Men would not put up with that bullshit. If men had babies, they would congratulate each other on their big fat flabby bellies. They would have bellybumping contests.
Where the winner would get artisanal beers funneled down his throat while he reclined and watched Pawn Stars. It's not for them. It's for work. You want me to book jobs and make money, don't you Babe, we're doing fine. I'm working more now than ever. You're never here. This is the first night you've been home in a month. Do you know how long that is in baby time It's like dog years. You know I wish I could stay here with you guys. And someday I'll be able to.
But right now, we just have to stay on budget and just build up a little nest egg. We're probably the only couple in Manhattan with a budget of $30 a day. For EVERYTHING. It's plenty. We're frugal. We're not starving. Right. I'm supposed to lose weight anyway. I like you like this. Shh! We don't want to wake him. We're not going to wake him. He slept through the 4th of July fireworks. He'll sleep through a little. married couple lovemaking session. Wait. So you're saying you want to have the sex Like right now.
Weird Things Pregnant Couples Do
Playful music Come on, come on, show us some movement. Come on, give us like a hand or a foot, something. Give us something we can send to grandma. laughing Who hoo hoo! There you are. You ready to go Yeah. I have to pee. Then you're not ready to go. Double cheeseburger, a large fry and a chocolate milkshake. father A double cheeseburger, a large fry and a chocolate shake. And can I also get a couple of apple frit And a couple of apple fritters.
And you know what, give me a sundae too. And a sundae too. chomping Nice! I got sushi. You can't have sushi. But you can. father I already ate. Eat it! Slower. Yeah, that's right. Can I get like one with the larger size. Okay, scratch the 12, make it a 24. And can I also get Do they make like gravy that they can put on the fries. Do they have any gravy father Alright, this is weird, do you guys make gravy.
Oh censor beep mom Ooo don't curse in front of the baby. Babies can't hear what I'm saying right now. Um, yeah they can. censor beeps Stop! censor beep Are you kidding me right now I have to pee. Now try this one. I don't like this kind. Just try it! Voiceover As the baby head crowns, the vagina will experience what some refer to as the ring of fire. sighs Why did you make me watch this I don't know. I gotta pee.
Wait, oh, oh, are they still serving breakfast Are you still serving breakfast because I would really like some pancakes. Because she would really like some pancakes. horn Sorry, I'm sorry. Just hold on! Gees! Tell me how much you love it. sobbing I love it so much. coughing Okay, I'm good. Thanks for that. I have to pee. classical music through headphones rap music through headphones Hey! little farts with each step father laughing Stop, I can't help it. father Come on, it's funny.
Can you believe it What In just a little bit there's gonna be a real living baby here, like a real, screaming, crying, pooping baby. I know. And I can't wait to meet her. Are you ready laughing No, are you I don't think anybody ever really is. What do you think I think. I have to pee. I love you babe. mom I love you too. You do What's your favorite album Joshua Tree, Rattlin' Hum, I really like Boy.
Porn Star Problems with James Deen
I'm sorry sir, if you just go on. Hi, I have a cash deposit. Is it a big deposit Um, I mean, by who's standards Oh! I'm so sorry, I just saw in our system that everything's down. So I'm gonna need you to deposit it in the back. Okay, I have rent to pay, can you please just get this in my account Sure. Could you maybe deposit it. manually That's not how banks work, okay Take my money. Fine, but I thought you'd be a lot more fun.
Woman Hello James. Hi, thanks for taking the time. You got it. So I was just looking over your brief and you want to start an LLC Yeah. Doing the website thing. I figured I should come talk to an attorney. So I've looked over all of your paperwork and it seems like you've got some very important documents missing. That could be a huge problem. Unreported income is a crime Mr. Deen. It's a crime that I have to report. But fortunately. there are ways that I can get around that.
I'm gonna go. Okay, so James, what brings you in today I have a growth on my back. I was just hoping you could take a quick look. Yeah, well I'm looking at your xrays and I'm a bit more concerned about the growth between your legs. So I'm gonna need you to strip naked and I'll do a full exam. Okay, this is just a mole and it's right there, and there's a halo around it, so I'm pretty concerned. If you want my help,.
Key Peele Text Message Confusion Uncensored
BEEN TRYING TO REACH OUT TO YOU ALL DAY. ARE WE ON FOR TONIGHT sighs JEEZ. WHAT YOU CAN'T CATCH ME. YOU CAN'T CATCH ME. I'M LANCE MOORE. TOUCHDOWN, BITCH. WHAT PAUSE. phone chimes OH, SHOOT. KEEGAN'S BEEN TEXTING ME. SORRY, DUDE, MISSED YOUR TEXTS. I ASSUMED WE'D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER. I DON'T CARE. phone chimes SORRY, DUDE, MISSED YOUR TEXTS. I ASSUMED WE'D MEET AT THE BAR. WHATEVER. I DON'T CARE. WHATEVER. I DON'T CARE WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS PROBLEM DO YOU EVEN WANT TO HANG OUT.
DO YOU EVEN WANT TO HANG OUT OH, THAT'S CONSIDERATE. LIKE I SAID, WHATEVER. LIKE I SAID, WHATEVER FUCK THIS GUY. JESUS, YOU. ARE FUCKING PRICELESS. AWW. YOU'RE THE. ONE WHO'S FUCKING PRICELESS THIS M THIS MOTHERFUCKER HERE. OH, HE WANTS TO OKAY, MMHMM. MMHMM. OKAY. YOU WANT TO GO. RIGHT NOW HMM. GUESS I COULD DO THAT. clears throat OKAY. OKAY, LET'S GO HE SAID OKA OKAY, LET'S GO ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO REALLY. DO THIS NOW KEEGAN, YOU NUT.
YOU'RE NOT PUTTING ME OUT. FUCK YEAH, LET'S DO IT OH, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! FIRST ROUND'S MINE. OH, NO! OH, NO! THERE AIN'T GONNA BE NO ROUNDS, ASSHOLE! IT'S GONNA BE A FUCKING STREET FIGHT! THIS SON OF A 'CAUSE TONIGHT WE GONNA PARTY AND THE PARTY DON'T STOP YOU! BUDDY! LIKE I SAID, FIRST ROUND'S MINE. A BEER AND A GIMLET FOR MY PARTNER RIGHT WHAT'S THAT UH, II GOT YOU A BASEBALL BAT WITH NAILS IN IT. FOR MY POSTAPOCALYPTIC JACKIE ROBINSON COSTUME.
Protecting Your Marriage After Baby MomAssembly
Alyssa Hi. I'm Alyssa Berlin. I'm a clinical prenatal psychologist with Berlin Prenatal Wellness Center. We all know that having a baby is a really joyful moment in a person's life, but what you may not realize that it's also a really stressful moment. In this course I offer you handson techniques to help you weather that stress, so that you can maintain or enhance your quality of the relationship with your partner. After all, we all want to be good parents, but not at the expense of being good partners. Also, learn a 4step approach to how to resolve.
Weird Things All Couples Do
Light pizzicato music alarm buzzing hand smacking head It's your turn to make coffee. This is disgusting, taste it. Ugh, why did I taste that You want the rest Yeah, I'll take it. Woman And I know its not really mumbling I don't know, like, four years or something. Man Are you talking to me Woman And I was like. slapping both sigh Both singing I'm so Emmitt, you already know. rapping Who dat, who dat, Emmitt ah ah ah ah. Man Alright, I gotta go.
Door closes door opens Sorry, sorry. kisses Love you. Love you, too. Both singing Did Sweeney, did Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of fleet. street. Man I'll get the beers. Woman Great. But then, I was like. Just get out of the way so I can do my thing Yeah, but I wasn't gonna say that. What I actually said was Okay, I'll just, like, go over here. I know I shouldn't have said that. falsetto Ooh, look at me, I'm Elizabeth.
Cat Food SLUMMY MUMMY Ep 5 MomCaveTV Catty Mean Girl Moms Newborn NYC
Spare a dollar I literally can't. I'm sorry. Okay, buddy. I have to leave you here. I'm sorry. Ragtime music plays. Hey. Jack's mommy! Noelle, from Strollercize. How ARE you Oh, I'm good. I'm a little frazzled. My husband's out of town. How are you Good. I just got my hair blown out and I'm about to pick up Madison from Baby Beethoven. Hey, we should do a playdate! That sounds cool. I would love to hang out. Oh, I won't be there. Have your nanny text my nanny. I don't have a nanny.
It's so funny to run into you here. I usually shop at Whole Green Organics and the Farmer's Market, you know, but I unexpectedly ran out of coconut milk so I had to step in here. I can't get a price on this. It's right there! Cute diamond. I went to this great talk at the Coop the other day about how crucial it is for little one's immune system to eat all organic while you're nursing. And of course I think it is SO important to buy local. Can I get a price on SaveaPenny's Turducken Pot Pie.
Off screen voice 98 cents! Weekly Doorbuster. I usually shop at Whole Green Organics, too. I mean. This is for my cat. I like to give her treats. Oh how sweet. Well, I guess I'll see you at class. Yeah. Thanks. Have a good night. Next! Excuse me. Sorry. Excuse me. Oh, sorry. Shh. Okay bud. Okay. Shh. I'm sorry. I couldn't fit you through. Okay, okay. I couldn't fit you through. You wouldn't fit through. You can't fit through. Okay, it's okay. Text noise. Come on! Watch it. Sorry. Text noise.
Key Peele Auction Block
ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL GATHER ROUND. GATHER ROUND. WELCOME, GENTLEMEN. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL AND BLESSED DAY FOR AN AUCTION. ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL, GET ON UP THERE. PUT THAT WHIP DOWN AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS, THOUGH. STRAIGHT UP. I DON'T CARE WHAT PLANTATION I END UP ON. I'M STRAIGHT STAGING A REVOLT IN THIS MOTHERbleep. HELLS YEAH. WE HAVE LOT A, LOT B, AND LOT C. UH, $3 ON LOT A. $4. 5! $5 GOING ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, SOLD. LOT A GOES TO THE MAN IN THE BLACK HAT.
I MEAN, GOOD. YEAH. chuckles I'M GLAD I DIDN'T GET SOLD, 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BE OWNED BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. WHOEVER BUYS ME, THEY BETTER KILL ME THE FIRST DAY, OR I'MA GO BUCKWILD ON THE WHOLE OPERATION. OKAAY NEXT ONE, GET UP ON UP THERE, NOW. OH, THISOKAY. both inhale $6 ON LOT A. $7! EIGHT. 9! $9 GOING ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, SOLD! both exhale OKAY, WELL, YOU HAVE TO BUY THAT DUDE. IT'S A NOBRAINER. I MEAN, THAT GUY'S HUGE.
A MASSIVE INDIVIDUAL. THAT'S TWO OF ME. ANYBODY WOULD BUY HIM. I'D BUY THAT DUDE. MY QUESTION IS HOW'D THEY CATCH HIM NEXT! OKAY. OH, YEAH. YEAH. $2 ON LOT A. $2 GOING ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, SOLD. SEE, NOW, THAT SURPRISES ME. THAT IS INTERESTING, TO SAY THE LEAST. I MEAN, WELL, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE AT A CERTAIN POINT, IT'S LIKE, DO THEY EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR IT'S LIKE THE WHOLE CRITERIA SEEMS JUST A LITTLE INCONSISTENT.
I MEAN, AT SOME POINT, I WANT TO BE ON LOT A. YEAH, WHICH CAN A BROTHA GET ON LOT A NEXT. OH, HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. BEEN A PLEASURE. GIVE 'EM HELL. ALL RIGHT. OKAY. $8 ON LOT A. GOING ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES, SOLD! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN NOPE, NOT TRUE. HOW DOES IT HAPPEN WHAT YOU JUST SAID THAT'S GOBBLEDYGOOK. OKAY THAT CAN'T BE TRUE. 'CAUSE WHAT CAN THIS DUDE DO.
LOOK AT HIM. WHAT COULD HE PICK A COTTON PLANT IS, LIKE, THIS TALL. YES. I'M SAY NO OFFENSE, BROTHA, I'M JUST SAYING. OFFENSE TAKEN. WHAgasps AM I WRONG IS HE NOT SHORT HE'S SHORT. BUT YOU ARE ACTUALLY SHORT IN REAL LIFE, IN THE WORLD. YOU'RE GOOD, MAN. ENOUGH. I WILL NOT HAVE MY REPUTATION TAINTED, SELLIN' SUPERFICIAL, BIGOTED SLAVES. SUPERFICIAL DID THAT REALLY JUST COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH THAT'S IT! THIS AUCTION'S OVER! AUCTION'S OVER WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
NO, IT'SIT AIN'T OVER. IT'S NOT OVER! I'M STRONG, Y'ALL! I'M VERY STR I CAN SLEEP IN A BUCKET. I'M FAST, I GOT STAMINA, AND I KNOW MAGIC. MY WORST QUALITY IS THAT I'M A PERFECTIONIST. LET ME MEN HAVE I MENTIONED THIS DOCILE. I AM AGREEABLE TO A FAULT. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE DUDE WHO ASKED ME TO GET ON THE BOAT WHEN WE CAME OVER HERE. NOT A VIOLENT BONE IN MY BODY. I JUST WALKED RIGHT ON, NO BIG DEAL. NEVER SEEN A BOAT IN MY LIFE.
Motherhood Gets Messy.Slummy Mummy Trailer MomCaveTV Webseries for Moms
I waited to start a family until the time was exactly right. I am ready. I was an idiot. Other moms had it all together. I love your outfit. It's so. deep Brooklyn thrift store. While my husband worked double shifts This is the first night you've been home in a month. Do you know how long that is in baby time It's like dog years! I tried going back to my job as a shoe model. I have ten other girls who didn't have babies, so don't take it personally!.
How To Save Marriage After Baby 919582534769, 919582573053
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