Marriage Relationship Advice How to Be a Good Husband
Working our relationship skills. Specifically we're going to learn today. How to be a good husband. I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources. What is the best way to become a good husband. Basically you're going to have to tell your, this conversation and have it with your wife because it's really going to be particular to her personalty. There may be some things that she really likes or wants that are special to her. That makes her feel good as a individual. For example she may want you to cook dinner for her one day a week. She may want you to.
Manage all the household finances or help out with the children. You know on particular days. Give her an evening out with her friends or just give her some quiet time. So you really need to understand those. Those interaction fundamentals that are really key for her. In addition the five key attributes dimensions of relationship. Love, trust, respect, friendship, communication all those are real key and if you really need to understand those more deeply. Then I would suggest that you attend a Family Resources or similar workshop, marriage education.
Actually Dr. John Gray has some good advice here. You may recall him from The Venus and Mars books. Very worthwhile. There are some little things that you could be doing also. To help spice up the relationship. Are you buying your wife chocolates From time to time. Are you buying her flowers Are you sending her a text message at work I miss you. I need you. Rubbing her feet. Putting gas in her car. These are all things that say. Hey, I'm with you I'm paying attention. Your the most important person in my life.
I love you. But you also have to come to is some agreements and compromise. For example you know in the bedroom. You may have to have the conversation that we're going to have less sex than I'm use to and probably a lot more than you use to. But we need to come to an agreement. So it really becomes an issue of communicating. Not compromising but on agreeing how to share some of these relationship dimensions. That are really important and key. You need to be prepared to give but if you give you'll ultimately will receive. There.
Love and Marriage Husband and Wife Relationship Advice
Hi I'M Dr. John Lund author of How to Hug a Porcupine. The problem is never that people don't love each other folks it's not about that. When people get divorced it wasn't because there wasn't a time when they didn't love each other. It was their inability to resolve their conflicts in healthy ways. That was the heart and core of 99.999 percent of all those relationships that either terminate or if they stay together they stay together in a roommate kind of a capacity not really emotionally married or committed but nevertheless.
In the relationship. Now how do we avoid that How can we stay connected Well we are talking about criticism and I had mentioned that the way my wife wants to be approached is to have me write it down and then I give it to her, she processes it and gets back to me. There are only one of three responses. One, I thought about what you are going to say I want you to know that I have thought about it and I am going to make this change.
Another is, I hear your criticism I have read it, I've thought about it and I think you need some more information from me because I don t think you have the complete picture here. Or thirdly, Listen I thought about it and I ain't going to change no matter what so you better learn to live with it. Well that certainly is another alternative right Well and those are the three reactions. Now the way I want to be approached is I want to know on a scale of one to ten either a two or a nine as to how painful it is going.
To be and then secondly if it's a nine I need time to prepare myself and I have said to my wife that, Honey you can give me a little time to prepare and I promise to get back to you in the next two or three hours We have a limit of about three hours and so unless you are on a plain or some other foreign circumstance that wouldn't be conducive to that but other than that other than that what I am talking about is I will get.
Back to her and then I sit and then she gives me the criticism what ever it may be and my first response is to listen, the first response. Now the reason I'm talking this threw with you very carefully is that we need to develop replacement skills, that is that whatever you learned growing up in your own family and your interaction in the family that you were raised in if it's not functional if it's not working if it's not leading for the two of you getting closer together and helping you become your highest best selves,.
Than we have to replace that behavior with another behavior. And the behavior I am talking about right now is criticism and we need to learn to give that criticism and there is an art to doing it. So with my wife for example when she says, I have got a 9! Then I get myself ready, I sit there I listen to her and this is the replacement skill I say. Okay to whatever the criticism was. I repeat it back to her and then she confirms that, that indeed was what her concern was and now I know what it is. I can't always respond.
Instantly and so we have agreed that there will be a little period of time where I can think about and process that and I will get back to her. Now most of the issues that we are going to deal with in marriage or other relationships are not the child is playing in the freeway right now and you need 3 hours to get ready for this Most of the time we are going to be dealing with issues that we are upset about at the moment and probably the least capable of dealing with at that moment and so its really really wise to give.
19 Unexpected Perks of Being Married
Soak It Up , WarnerChappell Music Zimbabwe, Supreme Court ruling Zooey Deschanel! Yes! Yes! What groaning Blueberry, and mango, no banana. Are you trying to get diabetes We're done, we're done, we're done. Feeling all right laughs Oh, Matt, you need to get her number because you guys live right next to each other. Bye, sweetie. Bye. So what do you think about one girl and one boy I was more thinking like one girl and two boys.
Marriage Divorce How to Leave Your Husband
I'm Bill Cuenco with Family Resources. Today were going to be talking about how to make those difficult choices successfully. Specifically, how to leave your husband. Now, chances are that you've made this decision because counseling or therapy, or some type of a.a friendly break up probably isn't rational or working for you. So, and if you haven't sought counseling or professional advice, please do so, and particularly so if there are children involved because this is much more than an individual decision. Leaving generally applies that you're not leaving on good terms, and it, it also implies that maybe there are some relationship.
Issues there that are unsalvageable. So, realistically, what's important is making preparation for your journey. Where are you going to go How are you going to get there And how are you going to sustain yourself for how long So, and it's really complicated. You need to treat this almost like a household move. A relocation may be involved, where you're going to stay, again, thee travel arrangements and how long you into sustain yourself when you are there, and may even involve getting a new occupation or doing something very different.
But, you can not do this alone, or you shouldn't do this alone. You need to get support from your friends and family. There are other support groups in many areas. You can take a look at websites, resources that are there online, or some federal programs, or some community, community programs that might be a resource to you. The important thing to do is to get back into the routine as quickly as possible because you're really dealing with a situation that has been negative, and you want to get yourself back engaged and rebuild your selfconfidence,.
Marriage Relationship Advice How to Submit to Your Husband
We're working on our relationship skills and today we're going to be learning about how to submit to your husband, or wrestle with a tie breaker. My name is Joe Cuenco. I'm with Family Resources. Let's talk about the process of submitting to your husband. It really first begins with communication about how you want to enter into roles, or manage the roles within the relationship. Basically, a lot of folks, and very common today, where it's a partnership approach, where there's shared responsibilities, shared accountability. In fact, I may be responsible for the check book and paying the bills. My wife may be.
Responsible for the children, home maintenance and things of that nature. But you have to come to an agreement on what my expectations are, what your expectations are and agree that this is how it's going to be handled. If you have disagreements on some of those things, you need to come to communication and work out a resolution. It's important that you really define these roles because if you're expectations are that somebody is going to be, have dominion on more of the decisionmaking, that's going to create some conflict. So the discussion, communication, needs to take place first. Very few patriarchal.
Roles exist anymore, they're kind of out voted, although they do exist in some areas. Nowadays you have a lot of dualincome couples where both work, both have responsibilities and oftentimes, the wife may have more responsibilities than the man. But if you take a look at the way successful companies are run, there's a CEO, somebody has to make the ultimate decisions, and he delegates responsibilities to his COO, VPs, Presidents, etc. In the same fashion, you have to have somebody responsible and ultimately accountable for making that particular decision in the household. So someone's going to have to be the CEO. And for at least some.
Decisions, the man is going to have to play the role of the ultimate decision maker, as the head of household. Let him take the lead. If you take a look at how a two quarterback model may exist, you never see that work in the NFL. It just doesn't work. Somebody has to take the lead, take the ball, direct the team and move forward as a family unit. And if there are some issues that you still have to deal with, I would suggest taking a marriage education workshop or doing some family counseling. This is all helpful to you to understand roles.
Marriage Relationship Advice How to Be a Good Wife to a Moody Difficult Husband
We're working on our relationship skills and today we're going to be talking about how to deal with a moody and difficult husband, a script that might have been written for me. I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources and today we're going to be talking about the details of how to deal with somebody that's a little bit moody and sometimes a little bit difficult. I know for myself, the first thing I need is coffee in the morning. If I don't have that, then I'm going to be moody and somewhat difficult to deal with. What.
You really need to have a fundamental communication, a fundamental dialog to understand what's happening because there may be some little things that are causing some irritation, that, some behaviors that you might have. Little things, like leaving the toothpaste cap off or leaving lights one. Those can be little drivers that uncover more deeprooted relationship issues, that need to be dealt with. I would suggest attending workshops as much as education workshops, relationship workshops to help you understand the real dynamics of how to build a satisfying and strong relationship. You really need to focus on the positives.
In a relationship's strengths and build from there. If your husband continues to be moody and difficult, then I would suggest having an inventory talk about things where he can have some improvements, where the things he does well in a relationship. Appreciate him for that and put together an action plan, hopefully that he'll agree to. It's going to be a give and take relationship, or give and take perspective, for him to make these improvements so that he isn't moody or he isn't difficult to deal with. Each one of.
Marriage Divorce Signs of a Cheating Husband
I'm Joe Cuenco with Family Resources. Today we're going to be talking about some signals of the kind, you don't want to get. Specifically, what are the signs of a cheating husband Actually the signs of a cheating husband, if your intuition senses these things, the sad thing is that your intuition probably is going to be right. There are going to be some very subtle changes in behavior, or some overt changes in behavior that you need to be aware of. For example the subtle changes, is he buying you flowers more frequently.
Is he telling you how special you are How much he loves you Or, is he doing things like maybe going to the gym a lot more often Going on that crash diet Wearing his hair differently Wearing different clothes Or, are you finding some new underwear, or things like that Is he buying things for the kids You know, just trying to deflect and change a pattern of behavior so that things are being masked in the household. Or, there could be deflection tactics, he may be accusing you of some, some errant behavior, or cheating.
Behavior, or creating some animosity, some anger in a household so that he actually doesn't feel so bad, that he's been engaging in this bad behavior. Now, you can go through the process of trying to catch him, you know, taking a look at his emails, his text messages, his voice mails, or following him, using whatever electronic surveillance there is. There's even a program Cheater's, who will help you, if you qualify, and make that determination, if your husband has been cheating on you. But, you need to understand that there, you're.
Probably going to have some responsibility, it's always been a two way street. You know, couples, when couples deal with problems, no one is one hundred percent at fault, and the other one is faultless. But, so, you need to accept some responsibility, but not the blame. If you, if you really want to know, try the direct approach. Ask him. If he comes forward, and he's honest, then you know what type of person, what type of character he has. And, if he's in denial, then perhaps talking to his family or his friends, that.
Relationship Breakup Divorce Advice How to Tell Your Husband You Want a Divorce
Hello, have you often wondered how to ask your husband for a divorce or how to tell him that you want a divorce Well, let me see if I can give you some tips. I'm Dr. Felicia and I've worked with families for many years, working through resolutions. When you're going to ask for a divorce, you want to be sure that you really know what you're talking about and you really made up your mind. You want to be careful not to say those words in a heat of an argument or you just impulsively throw them out and you never made any plans.
Or looked into any of the background day that you should have. For instance, if you really think you're unhappy, have you explored or explored the possibility of using counseling, marital counseling Have you tried to work on the issues at hand, what have you done to help the situation What has he done to help the situation, if any But also, what you want to do is, maybe perhaps consult to a few attorneys to understand what ramifications of the divorce will be and what the possible outcomes will be for you. Once you say those.
Words to a spouse or partner, your husband, I want a divorce , the guard at lines go up and everybody gets up tight and defensive. So once you express it, you better be prepared to carry through with it. The only way that you can do that is by planning ahead. So please consult your local attorneys and talk to friends, see what the outcomes are, if that's really what you want for yourself before you actually bring the topic up to your husband. Good luck and again, God bless. Dr. Felicia, signing out.
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