Its Not About The Nail
It's just There's all this pressure. You know And sometimes it feels like it's right up on me. And. I can just feel it like literally feel it in my head. And it's relentless, and. I don't know if it's gonna stop. I mean, that's the thing that scares me the most, is that I don't know if it's ever gonna stop. Yeah. Well. you do have a nail. in your head. It is not about the nail. Are you sure, because, I mean, I'll bet, if we got that out of there.
Stop trying to fix it! No, I'm not trying to fix it! I'm just pointing out, that maybe the nail is causing You always do this! You always try to fix things when I really need is for you just listen! See, I don't think that is what you need. I think what you need is to get the nail out See, you're not even listening now! OK, fine. I will listen. Fine. It's just sometimes, it's like, there's this achy. I don't know what it is. And I'm not sleeping very well at all.
Relationship problems, marriage therapy with hypnotherapist at Marlborough House Therapy Centre
The subject as relationships causes people a great deal of pain now human beings are social creatures and relationships are important to them whether this is real personal relationship work relationships family relationships it all matters. Yes to some extent some people will find their happy home coordinating, getting right but many people do suffer so at divorce with the divorce rate near about 40 percent and in surveys of financially successful couples showing that the equally unhappy if not more so. Anything you read in the press saying that happy relationships are based on finance are.
Utter nonsense. Happy relationships are based on treating each other in the right way and yet, why is it that intelligent people in the relationship will have an utterly miserable time. I'd put forward that a lot of people are utterly clueless about what a relationship means and this is not due to the rational components of the mind but the fact is that we operate from the emotional level and we are very often quite unconscious of our bejeweled behaviors so over the years we found rather than the regular marriage counseling type.
Approach which has limited success we've used hypnotherapy an coaching to help people get a better understanding of themselves and what they want in a relationship. Its a fact that some relationships do need to end there's no doubt about that, but people are just not suited and not willing but what has puzzled many many people is why do people who are perfectly capable of learning and excel in many areas of their life why do they carry on repeating the same mistakes in relationship simple question worth asking because very often couples will leave the situation get worse and worse.
Knowing that it isn't working, but they sit there hope that it gets better, that's not how a relationship improves, it takes understanding and it does take effort and we have the expertise to help you in that process and we offer a free initial assessment so please consider coming in to talk to us before you leave it and then too much resentment too much pain ends up finishing your relationship. We're here to help We're a team of experts we understand how you feel and we are very ethical in our approach, thank you.
Love and Marriage Husband and Wife Relationship Advice
Hi I'M Dr. John Lund author of How to Hug a Porcupine. The problem is never that people don't love each other folks it's not about that. When people get divorced it wasn't because there wasn't a time when they didn't love each other. It was their inability to resolve their conflicts in healthy ways. That was the heart and core of 99.999 percent of all those relationships that either terminate or if they stay together they stay together in a roommate kind of a capacity not really emotionally married or committed but nevertheless.
In the relationship. Now how do we avoid that How can we stay connected Well we are talking about criticism and I had mentioned that the way my wife wants to be approached is to have me write it down and then I give it to her, she processes it and gets back to me. There are only one of three responses. One, I thought about what you are going to say I want you to know that I have thought about it and I am going to make this change.
Another is, I hear your criticism I have read it, I've thought about it and I think you need some more information from me because I don t think you have the complete picture here. Or thirdly, Listen I thought about it and I ain't going to change no matter what so you better learn to live with it. Well that certainly is another alternative right Well and those are the three reactions. Now the way I want to be approached is I want to know on a scale of one to ten either a two or a nine as to how painful it is going.
To be and then secondly if it's a nine I need time to prepare myself and I have said to my wife that, Honey you can give me a little time to prepare and I promise to get back to you in the next two or three hours We have a limit of about three hours and so unless you are on a plain or some other foreign circumstance that wouldn't be conducive to that but other than that other than that what I am talking about is I will get.
Back to her and then I sit and then she gives me the criticism what ever it may be and my first response is to listen, the first response. Now the reason I'm talking this threw with you very carefully is that we need to develop replacement skills, that is that whatever you learned growing up in your own family and your interaction in the family that you were raised in if it's not functional if it's not working if it's not leading for the two of you getting closer together and helping you become your highest best selves,.
Than we have to replace that behavior with another behavior. And the behavior I am talking about right now is criticism and we need to learn to give that criticism and there is an art to doing it. So with my wife for example when she says, I have got a 9! Then I get myself ready, I sit there I listen to her and this is the replacement skill I say. Okay to whatever the criticism was. I repeat it back to her and then she confirms that, that indeed was what her concern was and now I know what it is. I can't always respond.
Instantly and so we have agreed that there will be a little period of time where I can think about and process that and I will get back to her. Now most of the issues that we are going to deal with in marriage or other relationships are not the child is playing in the freeway right now and you need 3 hours to get ready for this Most of the time we are going to be dealing with issues that we are upset about at the moment and probably the least capable of dealing with at that moment and so its really really wise to give.
Marriage Counseling Attachment Injury Troy, MI 8006931916 Marriage Counseling
Hello my name is Lauren Knoll marriage therapist Marriage counseling and family therapist Great Lakes Psychology Group Great Lakes Psychology Group Lauren Knoll The term attachment injury was formulated by doctor Susan Johnson and Less Greenburg In their development of Emotionally Focused Therapy An attachement injury occurs in a loving relationship when one partner feels abandoned or betrayed during a deep moment of need In these critical moments of vulnerability one partner is crying out for help and comfort from their spouse who is their most important attachment figure on earth.
If these attempts at reaching out are not responded to or are treated insignificant it sends a message that their spouse cannot be trusted or relied upon this causes an overwhelming feeling fear helplessness and panic in the injured partner attached injuries can appear small, such as a husband or wife asking to be held and comforted been feeling ill and instead they are ignored in their time of need, or more obvious betrayals such as infidelity or a husband withdrawing after his wife suffers miscarriage these events can be so destructive because oftentimes the couple gets trapped in.
Is Online Counselling Right for You Joanne Schwartz Counselling
Hi My name is Joanne Schwartz from Joanne Schwartz Counselling and I am here to tell you why online or skype counselling is right for you. It is really helpful if you have mobility issues or are geographically isolated. Its really great if you want to do counselling from the comfort of your own home. It is really helpful if you want to be anonymous or don't want to run into anyone you know when you go for couples counselling or addictions counselling. And if you think online counselling or an online therapist might be right for you its.
Marriage Relationship Advice How to Handle a Cheating Girlfriend
Hi, I'm Patti German and I'm a licensed family therapist here in New York City. In this clip we're going to talk about how to handle a cheating girlfriend. The first part in understanding that your girlfriend is cheating on you is to get professional help. I really don't believe that you can handle this on your own. There are many many reasons why a person is not staying loyal in a relationship. And the excitement of someone else enters into it. So I highly recommend that you seek counseling, marriage counseling at this point because to to stop.
The the pain at that point, a professional person can help understand, help you understand what's underneath the cheating. What's underneath the not staying loyal. What's underneath the betray. And it takes a little bit of time but it's a true indication that a relationship has problems. So to clarify, it's important that you go to a marriage councilor whether you're married or not, to help understand what's happening in a relationship. Marriage councilors work with relationships whether people are married or not. There's some indication that there's a problem in the relationship and if it goes forward it's only going to.
Marriage Relationship Advice What Happens in Marriage Counseling
Hi, I'm Patti German. And I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist here in New York City. In this clip we're going to talk about what happen in marriage counseling. Generally when marriage counseling starts the most important orientation will focus is on what's the problem. What generally happens is that two people love to show how they fight. And that takes up a lot of time and a lot of space. And that's o.k. because then the counselor understands what happens between two people. But after that it's about learning how to validate each.
Others feelings. Learning how to listen. Learning how to hear. And learning how to really what your, your partner to feel safe. So marriage counseling can be a time when you can learn things that your partner was feeling that you had no idea about. And, and it it then hits and you begin to develop a deeper understanding of what your partner is about. Marriage counseling provides a very safe haven for people to start unfolding their true feelings about themselves and or each other. This is Patti German in New York City.
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