Do you believe in love marriage? Of whom? Childrens or mine? Childrens! I would be happy if they choose their partners. Im sure theyd choose well. It is common nowadays.
Everybody approves it. I wont approve. Why dont you approve love marriage? The way we did get married is better: the arranged one. Love marriage also works out.
But i believe it has a much lower success rate. Conflicts might arise between couples more often because of higher expectations. So when the marriage is arranged and the couple is guided by their parents experience, it increases their sense of responsibility.
Will you get married to a girl from a different caste? Mostly I wont. It completely depends upon my familys decision. We should listen at least to onehalf of our parents advices.
So, would your parents approve? If I could convince them, yeah! Theyll totally support us. I dont like all these! I prefer my religion. And if your daughter wants to get married.
To a person from a different caste or religion, will you approve that? Ill prefer avoiding such situations. But if my daughter stays determined to marry no one but that person then I wont mind. We cant approve such things.
Our marriages are decided on the grounds of caste. The boy and the girl should match in their thinking and if children can bear the responsibility, then well support them; thats all! People from any religion would be accepted but not a Christian or a Muslim!.
But what if the guy is muslim and even if your daughter still loves the same person, would you then allow? God forbid! If it happens, the boy or girl would be ostracized by the community.
Love and Marriage Husband and Wife Relationship Advice
Hi my name is john lund and i am the author of how to hug a porcupine and thats a book about toxic behaviors dealing with difficult to love people. And this is a very important concept and so what I want to do is give you a little background. Ive been a divorce mediator for fifteen years. Ive been a marriage and family educator for fortythree years. I was a family court commissioner for five years in the State of Washington determining where the children went and how the division of assets went in a relationship. Im coming.
From a position of being very, very practical. im not coming from an ivory tower or from a theoretical position and so we are going to talk about some behaviors that are critical in terms of helping a marriage stay together. What is it? There is a fundamental principle and lets see if we can go over that principle now. If I had two giant magnets here and these magnets were of course at opposite poles no matter how hard you tried youd find these magnets would be repelling and on the other hand if we were to invert those magnets and.
Push them yould find t hey would draw together and i use to have a couple of giant horseshoe magnets that were nearly impossible to pull part because they were so strong . The same is true of behaviors. There are behaviors that attract and there are behaviors that repel and we are going to be talking about a number of issues with toxic behaviors so let me define what a toxic behavior is. A toxic behavior is any behavior that detracts from you or some else becoming their highest and best self. Thats what a toxic behavior.
Is now that may sound kind of broad and well see if we cant bring it into something more positive but imagine people dont have a hard time loving each other do you realize that its the inability to deal with the negative that is the greatest issue that we have to look at and so when people adopt what I call toxic behaviors then it prevents them from being able to share the love that they have. There was a wonderful book written by John Gottman out of the University of Washington and it was called how or why relationships.
Succeed or fail and the irony of that was john gottman pointed out that unless you have five positives for every negative the relationship will eventually fail. Most of us dont even think about the positive things that are happening in terms of interactions but we need to look at toxic behaviors. So lets look at just a toxic behavior and later were going to talk about a toxic personality. Thats an individual that adopts toxic behaviors as a normal course of their communication and interaction. So for right.
Now lets take about a toxic behavior as any behavior that for example does not allow you to become your highest and best self. So as we look at that one of the first ones that may be the most obvious is going to be Criticism. Now Criticism is very, very interesting. We have grown up in a hyper critical society. Well have a lot to say about this as we go through the book at different times but for right now. I just want to point out that it is a habit that most of us have that we are not even aware of and I like to compare.
That to this. in china they have different kinds of teas that they brew and some of these recipes are literally thousands of years old. Well some of the teas they have now found as they analyze them have in them arsenic just a tiny tiny amount. Well that amount may not kill you but accumulative amount of that will indeed lead to death and thats toxic and thats poison and the same is true in relationships most relationships can survive ascertain amount of criticism. They can survive that the reality of that is however.