Pillai:gt;gt; Relationship Problems are alsodue to the ancestor’s unhappiness. The ancestors may have passed away with these problems,either the father’s side or the mother’s side. So that issue will also become yourissue. Even if you don’t get a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or your married life is troublesomein relationship, it’s due to the unhappiness of the ancestors who passed away with thisproblem. So no matter what you do to address this problem through external means, or rationalisticmeans, such as going to Psychologists and Counselors: they will provide only a verylimited and temporary solution. The root cause for relationship problems is the unhappinessof the ancestors who died with this problem,
and they are coming to this earth plane duringthis time of â€˜Mahalaya’. So you can also do special programs, or Tarpanam, with thisclear Intent of calling upon those ancestors who died with those problems and help themto solve it in the space where they are now temporarily residing, and once their problems are solved,then your problem will be solved. How do we solve their problem? Just the offering donewill do the job. So it’s important for those of you who are wanting relationship, or arefacing problems in relationship, must want to take advantage of this upcoming two weekperiod of â€˜Mahalaya Amavasya’, the â€˜Mahalaya New Moon Time’.
Love and Marriage Husband and Wife Relationship Advice
Hi my name is John Lund and I am the authorof How To Hug A Porcupine and that’s a book about toxic behaviors dealing with difficultto love people. And this is a very important concept and so what I want to do is give youa little background. I’ve been a divorce mediator for fifteen years. I’ve been amarriage and family educator for fortythree years. I was a family court commissioner forfive years in the State of Washington determining where the children went and how the divisionof assets went in a relationship. I’m coming from a position of being very, very practical.I’m not coming from an ivory tower or from a theoretical position and so we are goingto talk about some behaviors that are critical
in terms of helping a marriage stay together.What is it? There is a fundamental principle and let’s see if we can go over that principlenow. If I had two giant magnets here and these magnets were of course at opposite poles nomatter how hard you tried you’d find these magnets would be repelling and on the otherhand if we were to invert those magnets and push them you’ld find t hey would draw togetherand I use to have a couple of giant horseshoe magnets that were nearly impossible to pullpart because they were so strong . The same is true of behaviors. There are behaviorsthat attract and there are behaviors that repel and we are going to be talking abouta number of issues with toxic behaviors so
let me define what a toxic behavior is. Atoxic behavior is any behavior that detracts from you or some else becoming their highestand best self. That’s what a toxic behavior is now that may sound kind of broad and we’llsee if we can’t bring it into something more positive but imagine people don’t havea hard time loving each other do you realize that it’s the inability to deal with thenegative that is the greatest issue that we have to look at and so when people adopt whatI call toxic behaviors then it prevents them from being able to share the love that theyhave. There was a wonderful book written by John Gottman out of the University ofWashington and it was called how or why relationships
succeed or fail and the irony of that was John Gottman pointed out that unless you have five positives for every negative therelationship will eventually fail. Most of us don’t even think about the positive thingsthat are happening in terms of interactions but we need to look at toxic behaviors. Solet’s look at just a toxic behavior and later we’re going to talk about a toxicpersonality. That’s an individual that adopts toxic behaviors as a normal course of theircommunication and interaction. So for right now lets take about a toxic behavior as anybehavior that for example does not allow you to become your highest and best self. So aswe look at that one of the first ones that
may be the most obvious is going to be Criticism.Now Criticism is very, very interesting. We have grown up in a hyper critical society.We’ll have a lot to say about this as we go through the book at different times butfor right now. I just want to point out that it is a habit that most of us have that weare not even aware of and I like to compare that to this. In China they have differentkinds of teas that they brew and some of these recipes are literally thousands of years old.Well some of the teas they have now found as they analyze them have in them arsenicjust a tiny tiny amount. Well that amount may not kill you but accumulative amount ofthat will indeed lead to death and that’s
toxic and that’s poison and the same istrue in relationships most relationships can survive ascertain amount of criticism. Theycan survive that the reality of that is however no relationship can survive and be emotionallysafe when you have criticism as a part of the constant diet. We’ll talk more aboutthis later. HusbandandWife Christian Marriage.