Recognize Relationship Problems Causes Reasons Relationships Fail Excessive Intimacy
Alright. There are a number of different types of reasons why relationships start to deteriorate. And, the first one I want to talk about is Excessive Intimacy Claims. Now, that's a pretty fancy terminology for basically saying this. Empathy. Sympathy. That's where it starts. One person wants another person in the relationship to be exactly as empathetic or sympathetic to their needs and wants and desires as they want them to be. And, that's not always the case. I may be able to be empathetic, which means I feel your pain. I walk in your shoes.
I may be able to do that in certain situations. But, when you start wanting me to do it all the time I may not be able to do it. It also becomes about, I call it getting on the bandwagon with. And, what that means is I'm in a relationship with Joe and I hate Sally his boss. I want him to hate her. But, he's not going to. And, that creates a problem for me. Because, I want him to want what I want. I want him to sympathize with me. What happens when this.
Weird Things All Couples Fight About
Cheery strings music play That's not how you fold the towels. It doesn't matter how you fold a towel. It does matter how you fold a towel. If you want it to fit in the closet, you have to roll it. loud crunch Oh my God could you chew any louder louder crunch This goes on here. It takes two seconds. Well.Then the next person who comes in will do it. That's not the point. Hey did you throw away my left overs No. I coulda swo ohh you bitch. What did you call me.
Nothing. The toilet paper goes over. It's printed that way so you could see it. No. The toilet paper goes under so that the cats don't get at it. That makes no sense. What do you want to get for dinner I don't really care. The just pick something. You choose. Told ya! Shut up. I don't see why I have to put the utensils face down Because when they're sticking up like that, if someone trips and falls, they're going to impail themselves and die. That's literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
I'm not playing this game where I list every single thing and you shoot it all down. I'm not doing this again. Well then I don't know what to tell you. Oh my gosh watch this! This is the best line. Did you watch this without me You weren't home! mug clanks Seriously! 6 more inches and it's in the sink. Well then put it in 6 more inches. heavy sigh Get it I get it. Anything will be fine. Fine. Fine! Alright! We're gonna get. pizza It's food. Anything but pizza. phone slams on table.
What do you wanna eat That is Bill Paxton! It is Bill Pullman. Bill Paxton was in Aliens.That is Bill Paxton. That is him. Game over, man. That is that man right there. Why am I gonna put them away I'm wearing them tomorrow morning. I don't care if you're wearing them tomorrow morning. I don't want them just sitting by my side of the bed all night. Why do you do this! You squeeze from the bottom. The next person doesn't have to squeeze then. It's toothpaste. It's not like it's hard to squeeze it from a new area on the tube.
Why are we fighting about this Why are we fighting about this Why are we fighting about this!. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. made you make the decision. With that being said, I think your original call of pizza is fine. Just no pepperoni. cheery strings music What do you want on it then Anything other than pepperoni. Oh my God! I'm going to murder you and when the pizza guy gets here, he's going to help me bury your body and then we're going to get married. No, he won't 'cause he'll probably be like Yeah I feel you, bro..
Recognize Relationship Problems Causes Signs of Failing Relationships Decreased Benefits
Alright, we're talking about relationship deterioration and signs that you might see that you're relationship is deteriorating. And I want to talk now about the things that you receive versus the things that you get. You might think of this in terms of profit and loss. There are certain amount of things that you invest in a relationship and there are certain benefits that you get back from your investment. Well, what starts to happen if your relationship is deteriorating is that starts to decrease. All of a sudden, you're not quite willing to give quite so much anymore. And the rewards that you're getting back are.
Recognize Relationship Problems Causes Reasons Relationships Fail Undefined Expectations
Alright the next thing I want to talk about is causes relationship deterioration is undefined expectations and this is a really, really big one. What are expectations Well, expectations what I think it should be. Maybe I've never stated this but this is I want to happen. Undefined means I've never stated it. Defined expectations are when I say to you, hey, I want you to be here on time to pick me up. Hey, I think you should take the trash out , whatever it is, and those are great because it's clear. We agreed that that will work.
For our relationship. It's when we start having these undefined expectations that we start to run into trouble about, maybe money, or who's in control or it could be even something as simple as whose going to take the trash out. I have literally seen that be a major communication issue something as simple as taking the trash out. Because what can happen with these undefined expectations is conflict. Here we have conflict. And it becomes unresolved conflict, and it usually is over very, very trivial things, like, I wanted you to ask.
Weird Things All Couples Do
Light pizzicato music alarm buzzing hand smacking head It's your turn to make coffee. This is disgusting, taste it. Ugh, why did I taste that You want the rest Yeah, I'll take it. Woman And I know its not really mumbling I don't know, like, four years or something. Man Are you talking to me Woman And I was like. slapping both sigh Both singing I'm so Emmitt, you already know. rapping Who dat, who dat, Emmitt ah ah ah ah. Man Alright, I gotta go.
Door closes door opens Sorry, sorry. kisses Love you. Love you, too. Both singing Did Sweeney, did Sweeney Todd, the demon barber of fleet. street. Man I'll get the beers. Woman Great. But then, I was like. Just get out of the way so I can do my thing Yeah, but I wasn't gonna say that. What I actually said was Okay, I'll just, like, go over here. I know I shouldn't have said that. falsetto Ooh, look at me, I'm Elizabeth.
Recognize Relationship Problems Causes Signs of Failing Relationships Less Private Language
Alright, we're talking about the effects of relationship deterioration. The thing I want to talk about now is the use of private language and the deterioration of that. What I'm talking about private language. I'm talking about several things. I am talking about pet names for one thing honey, sugar, sweet heart. That disappears. But, private language can also consist of phrases, and statements and jokes that the two of you shared and belonged to both of you while the relationship was intact. Maybe it's some statement or some joke or some joke line that only the two of you understand. All of a sudden those words.
Key Peele OK Uncensored
Laughter phone dings and vibrates Oh, hold on a second. Mmhmm. Oh, hell no. He did not just text me he working late. That shit is weak. Okay. You know what, working late, my ass. If he don't walk through that door in the next half an hour, he may as well not even come home tonight 'cause I'm not gonna be there waiting for his cheating ass. Okay! All right, girl I ain't playing. You know what I'm saying I mean, I will be there waiting because But he gonna have to put up with a lot of shit from me.
Okay. And if he think he gonna do this shit again, he is sorely mistaken. Okay! Because my man gets one chance. Okay! One. Okay! And then after that, he get one more. Okay. And then after that, he gonna get three strikes. Then you're out. Okay. And if I ever find out that my man was messing around on me, he better get as far away from me as he possibly can because he do not want to get what I'm gonna give to him.
Okay. I got my motherfucking real estate license. Okay! But if and when he does come home, that's fine. Okay. 'Cause he can go out and get all turnt up with these little side hos and whatnot 'cause you know what, bitch He always gonna come home. All right Okay. I'm the queen bee, and he always gonna come home to me. You know what Okay. But you know what, but you know what, but you know what I don't even care. Oh, okay. But I'll tell you what happen if he do come home.
Okay. He ain't gonna be pulling any of that shit in my house. Okay. He can come to the house if he wants to, but he ain't never gonna do that when I'm home. Okay. You know what Even if I'm home, it's fine. Okay. You know what I'm talking about Mm, okay. 'Cause I don't give a good goddamn. Okay. That's what I'm talking about. But he ain't gonna bring that shit into my bedroom. I tell you that much right now, okay Okay. 'Cause there ain't no triflingass nigga.
Gonna wake me up while he's cheating on me in my bed again. Okay. And I told him. I looked him right in the face. I said, This is the fifth and last time that you Okay! exhales I couldn't have said it better myself, girl. You're right. Okay You just been spouting words of wisdom all evening. I ain't listening to a highpitched goddamn thing you saying. quietly Okay. I don't even know what the hell I was thinking, girl. You right. The second that that man walks through that door,.
Recognize Relationship Problems Causes Reasons Relationships Fail Sex
Alright, we're talking about causes for relationship deterioration. I don't think I have to tell you. I think you already know that one of the major causes of relationship deterioration is sex problems. Now, obviously this has to do with sexual relationships. If you're talking about friendships we don't have to worry about this, but as far as research rankings go sex problems is the number two reason for all relationship deterioration, for failed relationships. This can be this could be any level of sexual issues not enough, not too much, on and on.
It goes, but the important thing to remember just like everything else, again is communication. When it comes to sex what it bottom lines out as quantity I'm sorry quality not quantity. That is now I'm no sex therapist, but I know as far as communication goes that is usually one of the major reasons for deterioration is people get those reversed. Quantity verses quality and it should be quality verses quantity. But, again it can tie back into expectations. You have to tell the other person what your expectations are.
How to Repair Relationships Recognizing the Relationships Problem
Ok, the first step that we want to consider if we want to try repair our relationship is really pretty obvious and let me just say at this point, when we're talking about relationships, we're not necessarily just talking about romantic relationships. This can be between best friends, this can be, I mean this could literally even be between neighbors, a boss, a coworker, any kind of relationships that you have. The very first step, and sometimes even though this is going to sound really simple when I say it, sometimes this is the biggest part.
Of the problem, recognize the problem. And sometimes people can't even recognize that there's a problem, they, they're really kind of unaware or they're in denial about the fact that there's a problem. They just maybe don't want to deal with it. So we're just going to act like everything's ok, but, obviously if there is angst between the two of you, there is a problem. And you have to recognize this problem and you have to do it on an intellectual level as well as an emotional level. Ok what is the issue here, and I can break that down.
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