T Miller Halloween Suggestions for Your ExLover

Dear Ex Girlfriend, While routinely stalking your facebook page yesterday I saw that you posted a status about not knowing what you should be for Halloween and since I'm so nice and know how hard it is for you to figure out which person you want to be EVERYDAY I actually took the liberty of writing down a few suggestions you know what you should be for Halloween you should be honest for Halloween you should be something fucking crazy like the person I fell in love with while all the other women are out dressed up as slutty.

Nurses and bait for horny vampires and werewolves You should flip the switch Shit should get real For the first time in two years you should wear the costume of a woman who's is in a relationship you should be monogamous mature trustworthy You should go to walmart and see if they sale any facepaint that makes you look less like the monster that you are and more like a person who actually gives a fuck about other people While in walmart buy yourself a wand Your costume needs to have a wand And when people ask you what your wand does.

Slowly wave it in front of your face and Tell them that it reveals the real you to potential lovers HELL you can even have a combination costume you can be SUPER sober celibate come home every night to my partner don't give my number out to other people can be trusted from this day forward marriage material everything that I presented myself as no more cheating on my lover CAT WOMAN don't go to any haunted houses you've charged enough strangers to come inside of you stay home pass out candy put a sign on your door that reads.

Only my ex girlfriends are allowed to trick or treat here and you know what you should give us you should give us all our hearts back me in particular In my bag You should put the $6,804 dollars that I spent flying across the country to see your lying ass every month the pieces of yourself that you promised belonged to me the large amounts of my pride that I left in July and My favorite Tshirts that you've probably been wearing to bed with other women save yourself the trouble don't stuff any more lies in my bag.

Don't pass out any deceit this year understand that it is ok to be treated and not always t ricking others into thinking that Halloween comes once a year when this is a every relationship thing for you and You probably couldn't pick your skin out in a line up of failures that you've sewn together with your own pain be brave this year don't be the victim don't be the ghost that haunts all of the new homes that your old lovers are trying to build with women a lot more visible than you.

What I Wish Someone Told Me About Having Sex

I thought I knew everything there was to know about having safe sex. I thought I knew everything there was to know about having safe sex. Always carry a condom and never, ever get pregnant. But I guess what I needed more than a dental dam was a mental dam, because I just can't stop thinking about you. People love to talk about how to avoid STIs of the physical kind but nobody likes to talk about the STIs that can destroy your mind. The ones that can have you tossing and turning at 3 AM,.

Raking your brain and constantly wondering was I not good enough for him Was this just suppose to be a one time thing or, my favorite one, how could I be so stupid, enough to let him in My sister always told me that my body was a temple so never let a man in that doesn't take the proper time to worship you, because you are a goddess that is truly worth sacrificing for. I only wish that I had taken the time to listen to her more often. But instead, I chose to listen to you,.

And that would've been okay if it weren't for the fact that your love for me was untrue. Because you liked someone else when you said that you liked me too. Then deception turned into a matter of perception and everything started to feel like fifty questions, except at the end of the day I was still left guessing, and this asshole kept testing my patience. But my mama said patience is a virtue, and you said baby I'd never want to hurt you , but you did. You fucked me over and left my brain impregnated.

With your bastard babies called memories. It was all fun and games when I let you up in me but now you won't even take joint custody. It took all but two texts to get you through my door but let me text you about some child support. Just an honest why Because I will never let myself be reduced to some 2 AM whore, creeping out of windows and sneaking through back doors. I will never let myself be reduced to some side chick, just another side dish at the kitchen table,.

For you to pick at while you wait for your main entree, to just being your other bitch. I am a person. I have feelings and emotions that have a right to be protected. Just having a vagina and two tits should not make me any less deserving of your time, or someone to be disrespected. So, if you're gonna choose to be with her over me, well, I guess you have to do what is best then. I guess I just wish that we had taken the time to use both mental, and physical, protection,.

Sophia Grace Rosie on Becoming Big Sisters!

OH. YOU BOTH LOOK ADORABLE, AS ALWAYS. AND I HEAR YOU HAVE VERY EXCITING NEWS. YES, IT'S VERY EXCITING. NOW I'M GONNA TELL YOU. both BOTH OF OUR MOMS ARE PREGNANT. YAY! cheers and applause THEY'VE GONE ON YOUR CAMERA, MOM. DANIELLE AND CARLY, HI. CONGRATULATIONS. AND YOU'VE BEEN WISHING I'M SO EXCITED. I'VE BEEN WISHING EVERY BIRTHDAY, AND IT'S FINALLY COME TRUE. I MEAN, IF IT WAS A GIRL, WE COULD DRESS IT IN PINK LEOTARDS AND TUTUS, AND IT WOULD BE REALLY GOOD,.

BUT IF IT WAS A BOY, WE COULD STILL DRESS IT NICE. YEAH, LIKE, IN SPARKLY BLUE BELTS AND, LIKE, A L.A. SPARKLY CAP. AND A DIAMOND DUMMY. BLUE DIAMOND. A DIAMOND WHAT DIAMOND DUMMY. PACIFEE. A PACIFIER, YES. PACIFIER. SO I'M YOU HAVE BEEN YEAH, THEY'RE DUMMIES, AND THEY'RE THE THINGS YOU SUCK ON, YEAH. SOAND BUT YOU'VE BEEN WANTING THIS, I KNOW, A LONG TIME. YOU WISH THAT ALL THE TIME. ROSIE, HAVE YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE A BROTHER OR SISTER.

YEAH, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY WHOLE LIFE. I'M SO EXCITED. I'M JUST SO EXCITED TO HOLD A BABY THAT'S ACTUALLY MY SIBLING. YES. AND ARE YOU DO YOU BOTH WANT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'S A BOY OR A GIRL WELL, I DID WANT A GIRL, BUT IF IT'S A BOY, IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER. AS LONG AS I'VE GOT ONE. IT'S OKAY. AND ROSIE, BOY, GIRL, DOESN'T MATTER DOESN'T MATTER. NO, I REALLY WANT A BOY, THOUGH. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA NAME THEM.

WELL, WE'LL PROBABLY GET TO NAME THEM, BUT IF IT WAS A GIRL, I'D PROBABLY CALL IT MAYBE A FLOWER OR SOMETHING, EVEN ROSE OR DAISY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. BUT I DON'T HAVE A CLUE FOR A BOY. WHAT ABOUT ELLEN ELLEN MAYBE FOR, LIKE, A MIDDLE NAME OR EVEN A FIRST NAME. THAT'S RIGHT. ELLEN. YES. BU T I DON'T HAVE A CLUE FOR A BOY, DO YOU NO. I DON'T EITHER. ANY NAMES, ROSIE, FOR A GIRL YEAH.

What Guys Look For In Girls A Slam Poem

When I first learned that no one could ever love me more than me a world of happiness previously unseen was discovered because somewhere along the line of aging and scrutiny and time I was taught to despise myself but I made sure I kept myself beautiful so someone would love me someday so I could belong to someone someday because that's the most important thing a little girl could ever want, right I was thirteen the first time I was embarrassed about my body of course it would not be the last and I remember stuffing my bra in the morning.

Tears stinging my eyes hoping, praying to something that I could look beautiful enough today, braces and all, for the ruthless boys who mercilessly told me I was worthless because my boobs weren't big enough and I would go home and put on a sweatshirt with my eyes closed, deny myself the right to be shown myself, because I didn't dare want to insinuate beauty in regards to something so insulting as my body. But I mean we all end up with our heads between our knees because the only place we'll ever really feel safe.

Is curled up inside skin we've been taught to hate by a society that shuns our awful confidence and feeds us our own flaws and sometimes when I need to meet the me that loves me, I can't find her, a reminder that the mirror is meant to be a curse so I confine her in my mind but when he or she shouts let me out we're allowed to listen. But it's met by a chorus of conceited egotistical narcissist but since when was self solicitude a sin since when was loving who we are made an offense by morons that don't matter.

Change this physicality and that one, don't you dare shatter the illusion you could ever be anything beyond paper fine flesh and flashy teeth and fingernails echoic accusations of not good enough, never good enough have you ever felt so numb that it hurts entertain me whore you can't surrender to them you gotta remember you're the only thing you'll ever truly have and no I don't mean your body because someday that'll go bad no matter what you do I mean you I mean the way your bright eyes go wild when.

You smile and how your laughter's so melodic it's a song I mean the way your creativity is a compass that leads you to what you love and you don't need any miracle cream to keep your passions smooth, hair free or diet pills to slim your kindness down and when you start to drown in these these petty expectations you better reexamine the miracle of your existence because you're worth so much more than your waistline you're worth the beautiful thoughts you think and the daring dreams you dream, undone and drunk off alcohol of being.

But sometimes we forget that because we live in a word where the media pulls us from the womb nurses us and teaches us our first words skinny pretty skinny pretty girls soft quiet pretty boys manly muscles pretty but I don't care whether it's your gender, your looks, your weight, your skin, or where your love lies none of that matters because standards don't define you you don't live to meet credentials established by a madman you're a goddamn treasure whether you wanna believe it or not and maybe that's what everyone should start.

Let It Out For Everyone With A Crush

I'm perplexed. By people who can't admit their true feelings for another person. Baffled, confused. Just completely astounded. It's not so much an un unrequited love as it is a despite it kind of love. Because, so man people would rather live in spite of their love than to fight for their love, and I don't know about y'all but when I think I'm in love with someone I just can't hold that shit in. And never let the other person know and if you're lucky enough to have ME fall in.

Love with you, best believe their will be a show. Because love it too grand and too exciting to be trapped in the depths of your heart lurking and hiding. And I don't know, I just. I can't understand people who will hold in their true feelings. Wastin' all that time when you could be getting sexual healing. So, when I think about that, there's absolutely no way I could hold my feelings back, shit! Woo, damn. I mean, really. When you love someone, their touches just feel like fire burning through your viens,.

And there's just something so cute and special about how they say your name, and the thought of their lips gently pressed up against your lips, and their hands running up and down your hips, and good lord help me! Because I'm getting hot and bothered just thinking about it. So, really. I can't understand why anyone would be content living in a fantasy. Why wouldn't you wanna take that next step Unless your okay with living a life of what if's and regrets. I know I can't. I at least need to know what could.

Possibly happen next. Even if it's not the outcome I wanted, I would at least have to try. Because you never know if that girl or guy could be the one, so don't let them get away. Just believe in yourself. Stop over thinking it and just let that shit out! Hey. Oh hey. What's going on Nothing, you know. Jut thirsty. Yeah, no I feel ya. What's that Oh it's nothing, nothing. Okay. Yeah there's just so many options is hard to choose. It's so many that I think I'm gonna like,.

Louis C.K.Gay peopleWho gives a sh$

Louis C.K. Chewed up People SNL I never understood people are judging people for the way they have sex as some people get angry homosexuals just for being gay to get mad at them her an early understood that you know like because they're just having sex with each other the governors in a PP which is running down the street is putting people the ass willy nilly just like a pet stores like without asking you know like you're the Atma what the hot she says 10 minutes so glad you just might be right now yes seriously.

Threatening its important role in my new pants in mall shared another one fact am I gonna put home this is ridiculous in but they generally don't do that so I don't know what the fucking promise people get mad then when we get don't get married we don't have to go to a wedding with the put you to the by many it doesn't matter said something really well then ok I will marry his dog could talk about me blows his daughter who gives a shit it doesn't matter doesn't have any impact.

On your life with the fuck do you care or people to try to think it's not like I think it's a social issue like when you see someone stand up on and on talk show inside how am I supposed to explain to my child the two men are getting married I don't know what your shitty Kate you fuckin tell why is that anyone else's problem two guys are in love with a cake america's you want to talk to your ugly child for work in five minutes picking here's what you're surely he's really a faggot anyway.

In scooping that Aaron up your stupid no the only the only arm thing that a Ponzi have those that you're not you're not supposed to laugh a gay people when they're funny because sometimes they just harder for many like I lived in New York for a lot of my life in my neighborhood everybody was gay and and it you know some guys are just a guy walking on the street but some gay guys or a guy in little shorts and a half shirt and you know combat boots breaking its green.

The the whistle when he's standing on the corner going to go out packinghouse lives in history time business plan exists by the thousands and some when I see them I laugh really loud I just do you really don't have to get these did not apply because he's fuckin weird and silly his larry is in by spose threeact allow over the whole lawyers in seriousness you know in stupid him the only you actually the 1i would blow a baseman based on who he is is Ewan McGregor that if there is this one guy out there I gotta say.

That I have no game inclinations except for ice met this fuckin dude in person I was they work on support show in Near East and write their names like popped like I was just blown away the she's Christ is fuckin beautiful in any live music you know and I was like fuck and shivered like Icarus shivering like of the cookin gracious in like a week later I just it was like staring off into space and when I realize but I'll just daydreaming about you McGregor and like seriously I'm not gain any other week summer I wanna fuck that guy right.

Breaking Your Own Heart

Waddup Socialcam fam. What's up Rehabbers across the world Trent here. To those out there that's praying for a better relationship, to those out there that's praying to be treated better,to those out there that's praying for no more tears, I want you to ask yourself this How can God remove my pain when I'm not removing myself from the situation How can God heal my wounds when I'm not removing the person that's causing them How can you get the heart that's meant to love you by holding onto the person that cares nothing about you.

You know, you've got to let go of what you feel sometimes, and remember what you deserve. You've got to stop rehearsing the pain and you've got to find the strength to release it. You've got to stop giving chances to the people who clearly and you know for a fact take advantage of your forgiveness. Stop walking back to the situation that your heart ran from. Stop treating that relationship like a revolving door. Leaving just to come back to the same reason that you left for. That's pointless. Why expect something different from a situation that hasn't changed.

You know, without any action, that cheater that's always cheated is not all of a sudden going to be faithful this time. Without any action, that friend that's always backstabbed you is not all of a sudden going to be loyal this time. Words lie, but actions don't. Which ones are you trusting Ignore what they say, but trust what they do. When you've got all the signs, why are you still searching for reasons Why are you praying for God to reveal more when you already know what it is.

When you've got all the pieces to the puzzle, why are you still trying to solve it Stop overlooking who they are and how they treat you because you're so in love with the fact of who they could be or who they should be. Possibilities lie. Sometimes. Most of the time, should I say. Don't fall in love with potential. Don't fall in love with your relationship's potential. Don't fall in love with that person's potential. Because you could be falling in love with something that somebody would never be.

Key Peele Bling Benzy Da Struggle

DA STRUGGLE IN THE HOUSE. USING WORDS AND RHYMES TO GET THROUGH HARD TIMES. YEAH. COME ON. hip hop music I CAME FROM THE STREETS WITH NOTHING IN MY POCKETS NO FOOD, NO BOOKS, NO POWER IN THE SOCKETS EACH BATTLE I FIGHT, A ROLE MODEL AND A TEACHER HIP HOP, MY CHURCH, EVERY RAPPER A PREACHER PREACH FROM THE ASS, MY FARTS IS MY SERMONS THE CHURCH IS YOUR MOUTH WHERE I SHOOT MY HOLY SPERM IN.

YOU CAN TAKE YOUR ROLE MODELS, ROLL 'EM ON MY MEAT BITCHES ALWAYS ON THE MENU WHEN I GO OUT TO EAT BUT EVERYWHERE WE GO WE DON'T FORGET THE STRUGGLES, SON BLACK WOMAN, TWO JOBS, TWO KIDS TOO TIRED TO JUGGLE THEM JUGGLE 'EM, JUGGLE 'EM, JIGGITY, JIGGITY JUGGLE 'EM YUM, YUM, YUMMY TITTY TITTIES IN MY TUMMY, YUM TITTIES IN MY MOUTH, I GOT TITTIES IN MY MOUTH I GOT TIG OL' BITTIES FROM A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT CITIES.

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